Looking Forward to the New Year

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Our Christmas was pretty good. We did miss Nicholas, but we tried not to let it affect our mood too much. We did get a small update from the couple from Kentucky. In fact, they even saw Nicholas and said he looked happy and was playing well with the other children. It was just a small detail, but it was something. However, yesterday we were excited to see that Luba had e-mailed us and it included two new pictures. Our little boy is definitely growing!

Luba let us know that the Baby Home was gathering all the documents for Nicholas’s citizenship. Also, Uzbekistan acknowledged that they received some sort of inquiry letter. Now they are just waiting on the answer to the letter. But, Luba hopes to see us in Tomsk soon. We’re just not sure what “soon” means. The Russian government shuts down until the 12th. Therefore, we will probably not hear anything new until that week or later.

Apparently, our government wants to keep me busy during our wait though. I’ve been called for jury duty in two weeks for Federal Court. This means I have to go to downtown Cleveland. When it comes to being called for jury duty, I have been very “lucky” since I turned 18. This is my fifth time being called. In fact, I was even called a couple of years ago under my maiden name! I never had to serve though. I’m not really thrilled with the timing of this jury duty, but Russia usually likes to invite us over when we’re busy.

We don’t know what 2009 will bring. 2008 and was definitely an interesting year though. It was filled with pleasant surprises, joys, heartache, and trials. 2008 has ended in a way that I had not planned. But, we have been blessed. We got to meet Nicholas and spend time with him. Our adoption expenses have been provided. I lost my job, but God has taken care of us through it. God took us all the way to Russia - twice. I guess I’m excited to see what He brings us this year. I tend to be a worrier and often worry about situations that may not even happen. I don’t like the unknown. But, one thing I am trying to learn is that nothing takes God by surprise. There is nothing that He cannot handle.

Happy New Year!

Kristin

Our Christmas Card

For those of you who usually receive a Christmas card from us each year, you will not find one this year. It is not that I am feeling like a scrooge, it’s just something we decided not to do. We had plans of sending out cards with Nicholas on them. Now we are just going to wait and send out adoption announcements when he comes home.

Our agency is officially closed for the next two weeks. I do have to commend Leslie for at least trying to get us some information before she left. Unfortunately, her efforts were unsuccessful at this point in time. We still have hope that we will hear something this week. We have been keeping in contact with a family from Kentucky and they have court in Tomsk tomorrow. So, if you think about it before you go to bed, please lift them up in prayer. I’m sure their hearing will go smoothly, but you never know.

This couple made their first trip about two or three weeks before we went back on our second. They actually told us about our court date before our agency did. They are going to ask Luba about our case while they are there and we are so grateful that they care enough to do that for us. We don’t know if Luba will have anything new to tell them, but at least maybe they’ll be able to tell us something.

I know the days ahead will not be easy for Evan and me. But, hopefully, we’ll be back in Russia very soon. Unless I receive news from Tomsk, this will probably be my only post this week, so I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.

Kristin

I Would Love to Be Able to Post an Update, But . . .

You have to be told something in order to tell others! I feel like this adoption has been turned into a "need-to-know" basis and apparently, we don’t need to know. I find that this wait would be a lot easier if we knew exactly what was going on. Yes, we know they are getting his citizenship, but what does this entail? We don’t know! We can’t get anyone to tell us. We get promises of this information, but yet, the information never comes. It is almost like your child is sick and the doctors just say, “Don’t worry he’ll be okay”, but then they never tell you what they are doing to make him better.

But, I’ll stop there . . . It’s been a hard couple of months. We’re pressing on though. I want so much to be in control of this situation and it is hard to remember that I am not. I remember when we first started this adoption I was praying that we would be referred a child as close to 9 -10 months as possible (this is the youngest age of referrals), so our son would come home close to a year old. I did not want to miss too much of his life. We were referred a 13 month old. And right now, I will be happy to have him home at any age!

I don’t understand why God has allowed us to wait 5 months until our second trip and 2 months (and counting) for our third, but I came to a comforting revelation the other day. For 8 months now, this little boy has been covered in prayers by so many people. If the various delays that we have experienced would have happened before we were given his referral, he may not be up for adoption right now. He might not have anyone praying for him. He may not have any parents waiting for him right now. So, while we don’t like our circumstances, we know that our child is uplifted to God daily.

We do ask that you pray for an update this week. It is kind of imperative because we just found out that come the end of the week, our agency is closed until January 5th! So, pray that they can get their lines of communication open, so we can have even a small piece of information to last us through the holidays.

Kristin

Not in a Blogging Mood

I know it has been about a week and a half since my last post, but nothing new has happened. I am trying to get an update, but we all know how that goes . . . So, I haven’t felt like writing. I will try to do better.

I have been having trouble this week with feeling like this is real. I know I felt this way this summer while waiting for our second trip. That feeling has definitely come back stronger than ever. I guess nothing feels “real” right now. I am unemployed and looking for a job. It is hard though because there isn’t a lot out there and I also would have to leave for Russia soon after being hired. It is weird not having to go to work every day. I’m out of my old routine and have an entirely new one. It just feels strange after working at the same place for over four and a half years.

Sometimes it makes me mad that my company chose to lay me off, especially now, but it has also been a blessing. I am learning a lot while I am home. I am trying to stretch and grow outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes I fail – hard, but other times I can see God really working in my life. I just want to be the best wife and mom that I can be. It is hard though because I really feel that Satan is doing his best to cause me to stumble. He doesn’t want us to bring a young boy into our family; he doesn’t want us to teach him to love God. He doesn’t want me to face my fears, but instead he wants me to live in them.

Every day I have to face lies from the enemy. I hear: “Maybe this is happening because you wouldn’t be a very good mom” or “Nicholas will never come home.” These lies sound stupid as I am writing them, but when you are feeling down, it is easy to believe them. As we are home longer and longer and without any news, my emotions are more up and down than ever. I am trying to hold onto hope. I need to pray every day for God’s manna to deal with my ever–changing emotions.

I am thankful that now I get to attend a Bible study every Wednesday morning. I have learned so much in just the five or six weeks that I have attended. It has uplifted me so much and has contributed to much of my growth. It has also caused me to address areas of my life where I am holding onto too much control and not letting God take over. This has been the biggest blessing to being unemployed.

I look forward to continued growth as I wait for Nicholas. It has not been easy, but it is worth it. At the same time, I hope to hear an update about Nicholas’s citizenship soon. It has been at least a month since court, so some progress should have been made. If Evan and I had our way, we would like to know something by Christmas. It would just make it easier on us if we knew when we were going back. In the meantime, I will try and blog in a more timely manner.

Kristin

Being Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope everyone has a wonderful day with family and friends. I woke up feeling like this was just another Thanksgiving. I am not really a fan of this holiday. While I like turkey, I eat it enough every other day. I think mashed potatoes are okay and I don’t like stuffing. I like pie, but not the crust. Overall, overeating on this holiday is not something I have to worry about. I always enjoyed the time off from work (not a problem this year), ate the meal, and then onto the next day. So, I have thought all along that today would not bother me. Boy was I wrong!

Nicholas is supposed to be here with us and it kills me that he is not. As I have been saying in previous blogs, this is out of our control; there is nothing we can do. However, that does not take away all of the feelings of loss we are experiencing. There are days where I have no problems and I look forward to when he comes home. But, there are days where I sit in my bedroom and cry my eyes out. This situation is not fair! He is supposed to be home for the holidays.

I want this blog to be a real look at our journey through adoption. I think sometimes I am not letting the truth shine through well enough. It’s not easy. As Christmas draws closer, the pain becomes greater. I see toys that I think Nicholas would like. I dream about seeing him open his gifts. Odds are that this won’t happen until Christmas 2009. And, it hurts when our hopes are dashed. I found that my coping mechanism as of late seems to be apathy. Who cares? I don’t want to send out Christmas cards. I don’t want to put up the Christmas tree. I just want to get to next year.

I look at our situation now and I wonder why God has allowed it to happen this way? Well, the factual answer is that the Baby Home filled out the wrong form to get Nicholas’s citizenship. If they would have researched the situation better, this could have been avoided. I can accept that answer. I don’t blame the Baby Home. This situation was new to them. It was an innocent mistake. I just wished someone else would have caught it. It is the spiritual answer that I struggle with right now. Is it so we learn patience? Is it so we can learn that God is enough? I don’t know right now.

I know all the “right” answers that people give. I agree with them wholeheartedly. But, that doesn’t negate how much this hurts. Yes, we will have many more holidays with Nicholas. Yes, we will see him sooner than later. Yes, we are strengthening our faith. But, it hurts.

So, while today is a day to count our blessings and focus on what we are thankful for, I will be focusing on my blessing, Nicholas. As my heart aches for him today, I will be thankful that God gave us such a wonderful boy to love. But, I don’t have to like it that he’s not here.

Kristin

Celebrity

I received an e-mail from Luba yesterday and found out that our little Nicholas is a celebrity in Tomsk. It seems that his recent citizenship court case was covered very briefly by the press. Once I read that the media had covered it, I let my investigative skills take over. I actually found a couple of articles about it. Yes, they were in Russian, but I used a couple of translator tools so I could read them in English. Now, that was a good time. Yes, Nicholas’s case is a serious issue. However, when you read it in poorly translated English, it is quite amusing. Evan and I were both laughing pretty hard. I think it was a way to relieve some of the tension that has built up over the last couple of months.

Not only is Nicholas a celebrity, but “The Americans” are also mentioned a bit. Yes, that would be us. We are now local Tomsk celebrities as well! Of course, it does not state our names, but we still feel special just the same. The article was actually more in favor of Nicholas and felt bad for the little boy without parents and now without Russian citizenship. I also feel like I got more information about the situation than I have anywhere else.

The article did mention that it would take time before this was sorted out. I saw various time frames, depending on the translation, but 1-2 months seemed to be what they are forecasting. So, this should be resolved no later than January.

In the meantime, Evan and I will be available to sign autographs. We are still debating on whether or not to charge a fee.

Kristin

Waiting

There really isn’t anything new to report. I e-mailed Leslie today to see if we could get some more information. All we know is that Sergei is working on the issues in Tomsk. I would love to have more information and find out how the process works, but it is too difficult to get that information. Lack of information is one of our biggest frustrations. I know our case is being worked on, but what is involved?

I’m the type of person that likes to have all the facts. I love details! Others are satisfied with the big picture, but not me! Tell me who, what, where, why, when and how. I guess I’m just going to trust that everyone is doing their job (easier said than done). Leslie did remind me that we are getting closer. But, is that closer in days, weeks, or months?

I think one of the hardest parts is that we had all these dreams for the holidays with Nicholas. This would be his first Christmas at home. We already bought him a couple of presents (just a couple because all of the toys we already have are new to him). We had even discussed some of the family traditions we wanted to begin. Unfortunately, at the rate things are going we wonder if we’ll even return to Russia this year.

While adoption is rarely without its ups and downs, I fear that our setbacks will deter others who are interested in adopting. I ask that if you feel called to adopt or are at least interested in learning more, don’t give up because of our situation. Our adoption has been challenging, but we are not without hope. The reward far outweighs any hassles. Spending time with Nicholas has already made the process worth it.

I also forgot to mention that November is National Adoption Month. Several radio programs are dedicating their show(s) to the topic. There are many great stories out there, so if you have the time, listen. You can find a schedule here.

As Leslie told me, we’ll update you as soon as we hear something. So, I will do the same for you.

Kristin

Calling All Prayer Warriors!

We know a few more details about the outcome of the citizenship case and now we have even more uncertainty. Apparently, the judge was going to rule that Nicholas is a Russian citizen, but the prosecutor pressed the judge and it was ruled in her favor instead. It must be nice to have that much power. Not only do they need to get Nicholas’ citizenship, but the prosecutor made it so now they also have to get Nicholas permanent residency. We wondered why he would need it since he isn’t going to be in Russia too much longer (we hope). The reason is that for 20 months, the Russian government has paid for all of his expenses. They need to show that he is a permanent resident to justify the expenses.

So, how long will it take? Leslie and the St. Louis office are not sure. They are guessing a month, but they don’t know. The worst case scenario is that it could take MONTHS! So, please pray that this process could flow very smoothly and quickly.

Also, I have a very large target that I would like to hit – with our prayers. Please pray for the prosecutor. Please pray that her heart would be softened. Pray that she would care more about Nicholas’ well being than looking good in court. We would like so many people to pray for her that she doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
Our hopes of going over this year are getting dimmer and dimmer. We know it is all in God’s timing, but we can’t help but get frustrated by all the red tape. Sometimes I wonder why God is allowing us to go through all these trials. But, I realize that God has given us the strength to endure them. Life isn’t easy, but we aren’t going through this alone. If we were, I would have given up by now.

I don’t know when we’ll know anymore, but hopefully, Luba and Sergei will keep us updated each step of the way. Until we know more, we’ll be praying. Watch out Prosecutor! Can you feel the prayers? You will!

Kristin

We Have a Decision!

Well, we finally have some news. Nicholas’ citizenship case is over! That’s the good news. The bad news is that they have to re-do his Russian citizenship. The prosecutor won again! So, supposedly that takes weeks to do. Who knows what the time frame will be for us to go back? We just pray that it is soon after he receives his citizenship correctly. We are waiting for the e-mail to be translated and forwarded to us. Hopefully, we’ll have that in the morning and maybe I’ll have more information.

So many setbacks . . . Did I mention that I don’t have a job? My company is slow so they don’t have any work for me right now. I would say that means I was laid off, therefore, I applied online today for unemployment. I’m going to spend my spare time looking for just the right part time job. If I’m lucky, I may even fine just the right work-from-home job. That would be even better.

I feel like the majority of the time I am just living my life. But, a couple times a day, I get a knot in the pit of my stomach and just feel like screaming. It would be nice if something in this process could fall into place. However, I will say that either outcome of the citizenship case would have resulted in us waiting longer. If the prosecutor had lost her case, she would have appealed. Who knows how long it would have taken to start the appeals case? So, maybe this is a blessing. I don’t know.

I want to end on an uplifting note. I want to recognize two very special people today: Andrew and Anna Kish. They are my friend Kristy’s son and daughter and have been following our adoption journey. They had been tithing their money in order to help someone in need. Evan and I are so touched that they chose to help us! I only hope I can raise Nicholas to have a compassionate and generous heart like these two children. Thank you so much, Andrew and Anna! You two are blessings to us.

Well, hopefully, in the coming days we can find out more about when we are going back and if there is any more paperwork involved on our part. Continue to pray.

Kristin

Still Waiting

I didn’t want to leave you wondering what happened on Wednesday, so I thought I would write a quick blog. The status is unknown. I have not heard anything yet. Luba is usually really good about getting word to the St. Louis office. And, Leslie assured me yesterday that she would call as soon as she knew something. So, is no news good news? I hope so. Hopefully, we will get a call tomorrow, so we aren’t left wondering all weekend.

I’m frustrated that we haven’t heard, but I am a lot more laid back than I have ever been. Let me go on record saying I am normally the exact opposite of laid back, so what I really mean is that I haven’t freaked out to my normal degree. I’m just a little down about it.

I have slowly been working on my scrapbook for Nicholas. I want to make sure I document as much of this process as I can. We want him to know the story of how he became a part of our family (and what a story it is turning out to be!). It is amazing how much he has changed in his pictures from our first trip to our second. He looks very healthy though. I can’t wait until I can post pictures for everyone to see.

Well, I am about ready to fall asleep. Evan is at the Cleveland Browns’ game and I will not be waiting up for him. You got to love free tickets! But, I hope to blog tomorrow with news of the citizenship case. Keep us in your prayers!

Kristin

Emotional Roller Coaster

It has been hard for me to write a blog lately. I guess I feel like my heart is very guarded right now. We love Nicholas so much, but hate the uncertainty about when we will go back. I am struggling with a lot of emotions right now. When I was in Tomsk, I felt like Nicholas’ mommy. But here, it feels like I am playing house. We’ve been home two weeks now and it feels like no progress has been made in his case. I wonder if Wednesday’s court case will result in another continuance or if they’ll actually have a decision. All of this uncertainty really weighs me down at times.

But, then there are other times when I remember all of the fun times we had with Nicholas. It makes me excited about bringing him home. We took a little bit of video of him. When I am having one of those days when I miss him more than usual, I watch it. It brings a smile to my face. It reaffirms what I already know, he is worth it.

As I said in a previous post, this third trip is a huge cost that was obviously not expected. Some people have stepped forward to help us with this trip and to them we are forever grateful. We couldn’t do it without any of you. In fact, I want to thank the people that have helped out with all of the trips. Adoption is a calling, but it is can be expensive. I hope that one day we are in a position to help others, like people have helped us.

Your prayers are equally important. We feel so blessed just knowing that so many people have been praying for us during this process. We do have about $3,000 left to go for this trip. We know that God will provide. Also, Wednesday (Tuesday night or early Wednesday) is the citizenship case again! It doesn’t seem like the kind of case that should take forever, but then again, ours shouldn’t have either. So, we’re praying that the judge has wisdom and the ability to be decisive.

Finally, please pray for my work situation. I am trying to get it resolved today. This is another situation that shouldn’t be that difficult. But, that’s all I’ll say about it.

My next blog will hopefully be good news about the citizenship case. I’ll let you know as soon as I find out.

Kristin

Surprise (Not Really) !!!!

Well, we heard what happened at the citizenship case. Guess what? It was continued! So, now we wait until Wednesday, November 5th. I hate to say it, but I’m not really surprised after all we went through. I guess we can see why were given a one to two month time frame.

I only have one concern, which I plan on addressing with our agency. I want some kind of reassurance, if possible, that our court hearing will be the “cut and dry” one that we came for on Trip 2. Financially speaking, we cannot handle several continuances on our third trip.

I don’t know what else to say. This has been a crazy adventure. It is so frustrating, but there is nothing else to do, but sit back and wait. All we can do now is keep on praying.

Kristin

Moments

I’ve been told by more than one person that it seems like I’m doing really well. My usual answer seems to be, “I have my moments.” There are times where I can keep my mind busy and not think about our situation. But, sometimes I’ll read something or see something that makes me miss Nicholas even more. I wonder how long we will have to wait to go back this time. Will it really be in the 1-2 month timeframe that we were given?

So, I wouldn’t say I’m doing really well. I’d say I’m along the lines of “okay”. I don’t like this situation, but there is nothing I can do to change it. Everyone has their “advice” on what to do, but they don’t understand the Russian court system. The prosecutor’s job is to make sure that everything is done properly, and apparently she feels that some steps were not done correctly. Nicholas’ situation is unique and a first for most, if not all, of the people involved. I wish it went differently. I wish he was home with us right now. And, I wish we didn’t have to go back to Siberia in the winter.

But, Nicholas is wanted. We will do anything for this little boy. I keep thinking about when he is older and he hears his adoption story. I don’t think he will doubt our love for him. I think he will get to hear about how many people prayed for him and loved him before they even met him. So, these are the blessings I have found during this trial.

But, now we are continuing our lives while we wait to go back. I am currently waiting for my work to let me know when they want me to start working and how many hours. While I enjoy the “vacation” from work, I would really like the income right now. So, hopefully, today or tomorrow I will hear from them.

Remember that Wednesday is the first (and hopefully last) day of the citizenship case. I’m not sure what time, but it will probably be during our Tuesday evening or early Wednesday morning. Luba is pretty good about keeping me posted, so I may even know something Wednesday afternoon or evening. I will keep you posted.

Kristin

October 29th

Well, we received word from Luba yesterday that during their pre-trial, the OTHER case regarding his citizenship was scheduled for Wednesday, October 29th. I really do not know what the time frame will be from that point on. I know that they have a 10 day waiting period, just like for adoption cases, but I don't think in this type of case it gets waived. Also, either party is able to appeal if they don't like the ruling. So, we may have a better idea after next week about how quickly we will be returning to Russia.

I am still suffering the effects of jet lag. I am at the point where I can stay awake all day without a nap, but I fall asleep extremely early in the evening and wake up very early in the morning. Today I got up around 2:30 AM. I am hoping that my body fully adjusts by the end of the weekend.

While lying awake this morning, I thought a lot about how to pray for our situation. I want to pray that we go back to Russia quickly. I want to pray that we return well before Christmas. But, I figure the best prayer is that all the loose ends will be wrapped up and Nicholas becomes our son. I want us to be here for Christmas so badly, but I want Nicholas home even more. So, I'm just praying for Sergei and Luba to get everything in order for our return trip. I keep praying that God will prepare Nicholas to come home with us - even if it means December 26th.

Kristin

Back Home

I'm sorry that it has been a few days since I have blogged. Our hotel in Moscow had internet access, but they wanted to charge us the same amount that they charged for the room - roughly $200.00. We didn't feel that we could justify such an outrageous expense. But, we're back in business now and I'll give you a little travel recap.

We left Tomsk on Saturday morning at 8:00 AM. Since we had ordered our plane tickets the day before, we did not have seats together. We were in the same row, but seated in the middle seats on either side of the aisle. In 3 weeks, that was the longest we had been apart. We both just listened to our iPods and the trip went fairly quickly.

We were picked up by our interpreter and taken to the Holiday Inn in Moscow. The last trip we stayed at the newer, more expensive Holiday Inn. But, on the way to this Holiday Inn was Red Square and St. Basil's Cathedral. We never got to see them on our last trip. We thought about sightseeing, but for some reason, jet lag chose to hit us. We enjoyed our $60.00 lunch of cheeseburgers and french fries at the hotel restaurant and then headed to our room. I took a 3 hour nap! Then I managed to keep myself up for a few hours before falling asleep for the night. I'm pretty sure that some of the stress from our trip had finally caught up with us.

I am happy to say that our flight to Atlanta contained many adopting families. Most were on their first trips to meet their children. We really enjoyed meeting them and sharing our stories. It is always great to meet people that really understand the emotions of the adoption journey.

We learned one thing about flying, Sunday is a very busy day! Our flight to Atlanta was packed. We were also disappointed that our seats did not have personal video monitors, so everyone on the plane had to watch the same 3 movies. That kind of bummed us out, considering on the way to Russia, our monitors stopped working at the beginning of the flight. But, we have a chance to do it all again very soon.

Finally, we flew home to Cleveland. The flight was overbooked, so we were very grateful to have a seat. The airline gave us tickets, but with the seats unassigned. I kind of pleaded with the Delta counter guy to let us on. So, we arrived around 9:15 PM on Sunday night.

I'm sure that everyone is wondering how we are feeling. At times, we are really upbeat and positive. We're excited to return home, but also want to get back to our little boy as soon as possible. I did find myself tearing up at various times on the way home. I think it was hardest when we actually flew out of Tomsk, knowing he we were really leaving him again.

We trust that Sergei and Luba are doing everything they can to make our third trip as smooth as possible. We are praying that we can bring Nicholas home before Christmas.

I want to go on record saying that God has given me strength that I never knew I could have. This is one of the hardest things I have had to go through in life. Our heart aches for this little boy. But, I know that I can't sit and wallow. I have to do the next thing. And, it isn't easy. Because of our jet lag, I tend to wake up for a few hours in the middle of the night. And, that is the hardest part of my day. It is dark and quiet and I am left to my own thoughts.

I know there are several stages of grief, and some days may be harder than others, but we're going to get through this trial. We don't understand God's plan right now, but we are going to continue to have hope that Nicholas will be home soon.

Kristin

Bittersweet Goodbye

Today we had two visits with Nicholas. Both went really well. When we went to drop him off at his room the second time, he reacted in a way he never had before. Usually, he walks into the room, turns and waves goodbye. Today, he would not walk into the room. He held on to my legs. Then he wanted me to pick him up and hold him. It was almost like he knew that something was up. He's a smart kid.

We fly out of Tomsk tomorrow morning at 8 AM. With the time change in Moscow, we will arrive at 9:30 AM (even though it is a 4 ½ hour flight). We will spend one night in Moscow before leaving for the United States on Sunday at 12:55 PM (4:55 AM EST). Finally, we will arrive in Cleveland right before 9:00 PM. What a long day!
I think the hardest part about coming home will be when we walk upstairs and see Nicholas’ room. It makes me sad thinking about it right now. But soon enough, he will be home. We pray that everything will move swiftly and we will return sometime in November.

I am not sure whether or not we will have internet access in Moscow, so this may be our final post in Tomsk. We look forward to seeing everyone when we get home. Don’t worry though. We are not too sensitive to talk about our trip. If we’ve learned anything through this adoption process it is that we are not in control. We still have hope and faith.

Kristin

We're Coming Home!

Well, court went exactly as predicted. Our case is postponed until the other civil case is concluded. I will go VERY briefly into the issue at hand. There is a question about Nicholas’ citizenship. In Russia, citizenship is not given just because you are born there. You have to apply for it. So, there is some question about whether his citizenship was properly obtained. His citizenship has caused us a lot of headaches.

Anyway, so that case is scheduled for pre-trial next week. The trial should be the following week. Regardless of the outcome, his citizenship will either be in tact or obtained the proper way. Sergei and Luba are going to ensure that for our case, everything is in order, so the prosecutor can have no objections.
We will probably return to Tomsk for Thanksgiving or Christmas. This is not exactly how we want to spend the holidays, but at least we will be with Nicholas. It pains us that we have to leave him again. But, we have hope that next time he will become a member of our family.

We have a lot of worries and fears coming home. Please pray that God would provide the finances to return to Tomsk. With the international and domestic airfare, as well as hotels, we fear the amount is going to be more than $10,000.00. So much money has already been spent so far. Second, please pray for our job situations. Evan’s company may not have much compassion for our situation. We will need to make some decisions about whether he can stay for the entire third trip. And, I am on maternity leave at my company. I have to see if they will have me back full-time for a month or two.

I want to close with something that brings tears to my eyes as I type it. Some may wonder, why don’t you just cut your losses? Why don’t you try to get another referral that doesn’t have all of these hassles? Luba asked us today if we would like to continue with the adoption. We said, “OF COURSE!” Regardless of whether or not it is on paper, Nicholas is our son. We will do anything for him. One day if he ever questions our love, we’ll be able to tell him we made 3 trips for him. Everyone else only has to make 2.

So, we should be home Sunday night. Thank you again for your prayers. They have sustained us during this trying time.

Kristin

So Many Questions

Again, I thank everyone who is/has been praying. Once we got back from court we had time to process and express our feelings. We have one major roadblock in our case. Unfortunately, the roadblock seems to be a person. I wrote another speech this morning, but I don't know if I will be allowed to say it. I don't really understand how Russian courts work. I guess I'll talk to Luba on the way over and get her opinion. I just feel like something needs to be said on our behalf. In the United States, I could try to sue for damages due to pain and suffering. Ha ha.

We are going to visit Nicholas in a few hours. We will do our best to act as normal as possible, but it pains us to see him when we know we may have to leave him again. The whole situation is so unfair to him.

Well, keep praying. If we can get the "roadblock" to budge, we're home free.

Kristin

Continued Again . . .

We are continued until tomorrow at 2:30 PM. This continuation appears like a waste of time though because our impression is that there will be a third trip. The "lovely" prosecutor has thrown in another wrench into the process. This one may take a month to clear up. Again, nothing to do with us. In fact, it is completely trivial. It is obvious that she does not have Nicholas' best interest in mind.

We are completely devasted at how this is turning out. Because of the actions of the prosecutor, the judge's hands are tied. Once this other matter is solved, we're good to go. We just can't afford to stay here any longer. So, if all goes as we suspect it will tomorrow, we should be home by the end of the weekend.

We are trying to figure out what God is doing through all of this. We know numerous people are praying and we appreciate it. We don't understand why something so cut and dry, has turned into a mess. We will still be able to adopt Nicholas, but we think we will have to wait out the month at home.

This brings up so many issues, besides leaving our baby behind. We worry about the finances for a third trip. We have already spent three weeks here. How will we pay for three more? The plane tickets alone are so expensive! And, then there is Evan's job. They have been so kind and flexible, allowing him to be gone for a month. What will they think when he has to leave again? And, do I go back to my job for a month? Will they take me back full-time? There are just so many questions and so many fears.

We have one last shot to bring Nicholas home on this trip, but it will take a miracle. We don't know what that miracle is, but . . . please just pray for us. Coming home empty-handed will break our hearts.

Kristin

It’s Spaghetti Wednesday!

Oh, did I forget to mention that it is Court Day too?!? I guess that trumps my excitement over spaghetti for breakfast. I’m just trying to keep the mood light today. It seems like everything is in order. The judge should make a decision today. But, we are prepared for anything.

I know that many of you are praying for us again. Thank you so much! I was working on a speech to say in court this afternoon. I am mentioning to the judge that since we have returned to Tomsk, we have visited Nicholas almost 30 times! I think it’s safe to say that we’ve built a pretty good relationship with our son. We have games that we play; Noises that we taught him (Thanks to Evan, our son likes to growl). And, we definitely have shared a lot of love between us.

I’m remaining optimistic about today. I am hoping that October 15th is a day that our family can celebrate for years to come. I hope that later today, I am able to shout it from the rooftops that we are parents.

Thank you again for your prayers. Now, we’re off to have spaghetti for breakfast. You know I love it.

Kristin

Snow!

We woke up to find snow on some of the cars. There were a few flurries on the way to the baby home, but it has warmed up a little bit. I’m not ready for winter yet. Especially, since I hear there is such nice weather at home.

Yesterday we discovered that there are more Americans at our hotel. We think they arrived sometime yesterday afternoon. I overheard English being spoken outside our hotel room, and then we saw them in the lobby while waiting for Sergei. We believe they are here on business. No, we haven’t spoken to them yet. They are kind of loud (to put it nicely). I’d like to believe that Evan and I have given the Russians a nice impression of Americans. These people . . . Well, I won’t make any judgments yet. It is nice to hear English though.

We do know when our court date is now. It is WEDNESDAY at 2:00 PM. That is 3 AM Eastern Standard Time. I don’t expect anyone to wake up early, unless you feel led to wake up early. But, please keep us in your prayers before you go to bed. I am choosing to keep a positive attitude about it. Let’s just hope that over the last week and a half, the judge has taken the word “continued” out of his vocabulary.

Well, enjoy your nice weather. At least, the buildings are always warm here.

Kristin

We Are Adventurous!

It’s hard to believe that the weekend is already here! We’re moving on up today – to the 4th floor. We aren’t going to get a suite, like we have now, but it is only temporary. I am thinking that a change of venue will do us good.
We only get one visit with Nicholas today. We met with him this morning, without an interpreter. Today he walked all the way up the stairs to the play room, with only the help of his daddy and the railing. It was a lot of stairs for a little boy, but he was intent on tackling them all!

Evan was tickling him today and making him laugh hysterically. I took the opportunity to peek at his gums. It looks like at least 2 more top teeth are ready to make an appearance. Not only did the constant drooling tip me off, but the fact that he even wants to stick his shoe in his mouth to make his gums feel better. We’re working on the concept of the word “yucky”. But, he thinks it is just something funny to say. Grass, leaves, and your shoe are apparently not yucky to him, and he laughs every time I say it.

Now onto the adventurous part of our day . . . we walked two blocks to the grocery store and bought food! It was the smaller of the two grocery stores that we know about, but we bought bread, water, and a few other items. We got enough food for at least a week, for under $25.00. Our lovely model, Evan is showing some of his finds.




Since we have the rest of the day to ourselves, we are going to watch some movies. We move into our new room around 6 or 7:00 this evening. I do have a prayer request that popped into my head while we were eating lunch. Originally, we were told we would be flying from Moscow to Atlanta on October 29th. I laughed when I saw it because I thought that must be the worst case scenario. Little did I know that October 29th was not too far off! Please pray that we do get to go home on this date.

Let me explain the procedure again, since I can’t remember who I told anymore. Once the judge makes a positive conclusion, he has the right to waive the 10 day waiting period. We will most definitely ask him to waive it, considering we feel like we’ve already served it and then some. If this is waived, we still have maybe a week in Tomsk to get Nicholas’ passport, birth certificate and adoption certificate. Finally, we fly to Moscow where we have a one day for Nicholas’ Embassy Dr. Appt. and one day for the Embassy interview. Then we fly home the next day. But, the events in Moscow can only take place on business days. So, October 29th is a great day to shoot for in the scheme of things.

So, please pray for that date!

Kristin

Less Than A Week To Go!

The weekend is almost here and we are hoping that we will be able to take Nicholas off-site again. I think we're all getting a little bored with the play room and are ready for new adventures.

Nicholas loves to mimic whatever we do. Evan was blowing some cookie crumbs out of his stacking cup and now Nicholas loves to blow air. He'll be ready to blow out his birthday candles early next year. He also has a new English phrase, "Ta-da." We said it once and he picked up on it right away.

He also continues to act like a typical toddler, in every way. He's been testing us lately. He will have a small temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way. We'll just let him cry for a minute. Once he realizes that things aren't going to change, he gets up and starts playing again. I can see we're never going to have a dull moment when we get home.

I have posted more questions and answers below. Please continue to send them.


1. What is the currency exchange rate from US dollars to Russian money?
One US Dollar equals approximately 26.15 Rubles. We feel like we have a lot of money because a lot of the bills are 500, 1000, or 5000 Rubles. We pay 30 Rubles for bottled water and 200 Rubles for our internet card. Most things in Tomsk are not that expensive. Our meal is usually around $20.00 each day at the hotel restaurant. The exchange rate is actually better than it was on our first trip, which is strange considering the U.S.’s financial crisis right now.

2. What are the restrooms like? Like ours? :)
Other than our hotel, I have been in the airport bathrooms and the bathroom at the medical center. The airport bathrooms were fine, like ours. The one at the medical center was gross! There wasn’t even a toilet seat in the women’s room. Ironically, Evan said there was one in the men’s room. Luckily, I was making a “deposit” for the drug test and didn’t need to sit down. :)

3. Do they have any good bakeries? Or little village shops? (Seems like a place they would)
They probably do. We are just the worst travelers ever. The other day we were standing outside waiting for Sergei when someone asked us for directions – in Russian. We just stood there blankly and said “English”. We brought some phrase books with us that we are working on, but we have a long way to go before we can really communicate. Why couldn’t they speak Spanish here? Ha ha. Maybe we'll get bored enough to venture out. We'll see.


4. Any churches available?
There are a lot of churches here. There is one on the way to the baby home and there are always people coming and going from there. We’re not 100% sure, but this past weekend I think there was a wedding there.


Well, we're off to watch some movies. Luba, our interpreter, was nice enough to give us some of her movies in English, so we wouldn't be so bored. Thank goodness we have the laptop. I don't know what we would do without it.

Kristin

Some Questions

Thank you to the people who have submitted questions. Please keep them coming.

1. What is your hotel like? Hotel room?
Our hotel is pretty nice. I think there are only rooms on the 2nd and 4th floors. The first floor has the café and the 3rd floor has conference rooms. We are currently on the 2nd floor, but due to the conference this weekend, we are going to be moved to another room, probably to the fourth floor. There are no elevators in the hotel. Four floors don’t seem too bad to walk. However, the way the stairs are set up, it feels more like 8 flights of stairs. We did that on the first trip.
Our room is actually considered a suite. There is a sitting room with a couch, television, mini-fridge, and a closet. Then we have a small bedroom and a bathroom. It is just big enough that we are comfortable, but not cramped.

2. What types of food do they offer at dinner?
The hotel provides breakfast, but lunch and dinner we have to fend for ourselves. We are trying to watch our spending, so we eat a large breakfast and then choose one other meal to eat at a restaurant. We have ate the last four meals at the hotel restaurant. Evan has had the chicken fillet, chicken stroganoff, and pork chops. He always orders a side of fries (shocker!). I have had the spicy chicken, chicken fillet (twice) and pelemini (like wontons in wonton soup). I try to mix up my sides. I’ve had boiled and baked potatoes, as well as soup.

There are two other restaurants nearby that we know have English menus. We just haven’t been there yet.

3. Do you use local transportation to go and see Nicholas? Or do you rent a car?
Sergei, our representative, is also our driver. He picks us up at 10:15 AM and 4:15 PM every day for our baby home visits. The baby home is about five minutes away. If we were offered a car, I would not take it. I have no idea what their traffic laws are here. I told Evan yesterday that it appears that everyone has the “right of way”.

4. Can you do any sightseeing when you are not seeing Nicholas?
We probably could go for walks. They gave us a tour of the town on our first trip. We just feel very vulnerable not being able to speak the language. The town is not huge, so we have probably have seen most of it just driving to the baby home and our beloved court house.

5. How are you treated by the workers at the orphanage?
Everyone at the baby home treats us very well. They are happy that we are going to adopt Nicholas. In fact, when talking to him, they tell Nicholas that we are his mama and papa (we understand that much).

6. Who is in the courtroom with you during the hearing(s)?
There are 9 people in the courtroom: Us, Luba(our interpreter), Sergei, a representative of the baby home, a representative of the Guardianship Authority, the court reporter, prosecutor, and judge.
We’ve spent more time with these people than we ever thought we would. Even the security guards know who we are.


Visits with Nicholas continue to go well. Two days ago we taught him how to use a sippy cup. I would have thought it was weird that he didn’t know how to drink from it, but Evan and I witnessed something interesting the other day. We went to get Nicholas from his room and his caregiver motioned for us to wait a moment, so she could give him something to drink. And, they gave him a CHINA cup for him to drink from. He gulped it down and handed it back to her. It was a very breakable cup with no lid! So, now we have him drinking from a sippy cup.

Also, our visits end right before lunch and dinner. Nicholas has a great internal clock. About twenty minutes before our visit is to end, he starts making a puckering face and starts to wave “bye bye”. He is hungry and knows it is almost time to eat. It is quite funny. But, it is hard to get him to think about playing until it is time to go. We always give him a snack when we visit, but that obviously does not hold him over.

We are trying to remain positive during our wait, but I will admit that last night my attitude started to go sour. God has given us all this time to bond with Nicholas, but I get frustrated with the process and just want to go home. Today has been a lot better though and I'm ready to press on.

I will leave you with some more of Nicholas' "masterpieces". I got comments last time that the pictures of Evan were creepy. I hope you find these pictures beautiful (ha ha).







Kristin

Q & A

In an effort to try to make this blog more exciting while we wait, we are inviting our readers to ask us questions. You can ask about anything. We don’t have to answer if we don’t like your question. Ha ha. If you have one of our e-mail addresses, you can e-mail us the question. Or, post it as a comment on the blog. The third option would be to ask someone who does have our e-mail address to give it to you.

I will say that we may lose our internet access for a couple of days. We are not sure yet. There is a conference at our hotel, so they need our room. They are trying to find us a different room, probably on the dreaded fourth floor (lots of stairs!). But, if they cannot accommodate us , then we are off to another hotel until the end of the weekend.

Back, to the questions . . .

1. How far are you from the Baby Home?
We are about a 5 minute drive from the baby home. That is why we get to see him twice a day. In some regions they are 2 hours away!

2. How many teeth does Nicholas have?
Nicholas has 4 teeth, 2 on the top and 2 on the bottom. However, he is drooling like crazy, so it looks like more will be here soon.

3. Have you seen Nicholas’ room and any other children?
I have seen the room that leads to Nicholas’ room, but that's as far as they let us go. It has several high chairs and cribs in it. There is also a huge closet in the corner full of clothes. However, Nicholas has been in the same three outfits all week. Maybe before we leave, they we'll let us see everything. He is in a room with children a little younger than him. He didn't move up with his group since he is going to be adopted.
We do see other children. When we come to visit him, the older kids (2-4 year olds) are usually leaving to go play outside. We give credit to the caregivers. There are usually only 2 adults for 8-10 kids, but they keep them in line.

We will start with these questions for now. We'll try to answer a couple of questions a day as long as we have internet access. Other than that, we're just doing our daily routine. It's already Tuesday, guys. We're getting closer and closer to court. How's that for a positive attitude?

Kristin

CONTINUED!!!!

Well, court didn't go bad and didn't go well either. It only lasted 10 minutes. The Prosecutor requested more documents from the Guardianship office, so we're continued until next week. It is either Wednesday or Thursday. They translated that it was next Wednesday, the 16th. Well, the 16th is a Thursday. So, we shall see. At this point, we just have to go with the flow.

From now until court, please pray that the judge finally makes a positive conclusion. He may be able to go home to a warm meal and a comfortable bed, but us Americans are a little hungry and tired! Also, we're still going to try and get the 10 days waived. If they are waived, we will be back on track to come home on time. I can't imagine staying here any longer than the original 34 days they estimated!

We're actually doing pretty well considering the last week. We kind of have a routine established now (albeit an extremely boring routine). We just want this to end! This has never happened here before. We are the lucky ones!

Continue to pray for our sanity. I will write with any updates.

Kristin

Tomorrow's The Big Day

We just had dinner and in a few hours we'll be off to bed. We should sleep pretty well since Nicholas wore us out this weekend. This morning we got to take him to a kiddie park close to the orphanage. Sergei told us (via Anya)that the Orphanage Director would not have allowed us to take Nicholas off the premises unless she thought court would go well. That made us feel a little better.

Nicholas was a little too young for most of the rides at the kiddie park, so we did a lot of walking. He was all bundled up in snowsuit, but he still waddled along. Before we left, Evan and Nicholas shared a donut. It was a little different than an American donut, but I think they both enjoyed it. Evan loves donuts, so I think he has found a buddy to take to Dunkin Donuts at home.

This afternoon's visit was without an interpreter again. Evan and I are trying to work on unifying our discipline methods. As some people expected, Evan is the "meanie" and I am the "softie". We're working on it though. I think that we will parent a lot different when we are at our home and not at the baby home.

I am going to close with a verse that I'm going to take to court with me. It is Deuteronomy 31:8, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Thanks to everyone who said that they will stay up late to pray. I will update the blog as soon as we get back from court.

Kristin

Feeling A Little Better

Thank you for all of your e-mails and comments. It makes us feel comforted to know that so many people are thinking and praying for us. We don't know anything more than we did last time. Sergei, our coordinator, looked us in the eye yesterday and told us not to worry and that everything would be okay. Of course, he did that in Russian, but his daughter was there to translate it. We really like his daughter, Anya. We met her on our first trip. She is still in high school, but she is working hard on her English. She's a very sweet girl.

It is Saturday here already. We will be visiting Nicholas twice today. In the morning it will be without an intepreter. That is fine with us because we both know right now when he says "decher", it means food. That is not Russian. That is a Nicholasism. It will also give us a chance to be completely alone with him for the first time.

Even though we have this issue looming over our heads this weekend, I want to focus on something positive - Nicholas! I want to touch a little bit on Nicholas and how he is interacting with us.

He is very comfortable around us. One of the cutest things he does is stop playing and just go over and touch Evan’s goatee. The other day he was touching Evan’s chin and looked over at me. He walked over and touched my chin too. I told him, “You won’t find a beard on Mommy”. I’d like to go on record saying that you won’t find a mustache either.

Nicholas also knows that we bring him Cheerios and teething biscuits ("decher"). We try to keep them in the bag we bring with us, but he knows exactly where to find them. In fact, a lot of times he will come over; put his hand on my shoulder as if to say, “Mom, I know you have food. You might as well bring it out.”

Nicholas is still “saying” a lot. He is really speaking his own language, but we’re starting to understand him a bit. One of my favorite things he says is “Oof”. He says it when he knocks his stacking cups over or if he falls on his butt. It is the one word that sounds like a real word (both to us and the interpreters).

I think we have created a monster in regards to praising him though. We clap for him all the time. Sometimes he will stack his cups and start clapping. Then he either looks or points at everyone else in the room to make sure that they clap too.

He's such a wonderful, little boy. He brings us so much joy. I'm so glad that we get to visit him this weekend.

Keep praying for us. We can definitely feel your prayers.

Kristin

Very Serious Prayer Needed

Sorry that we have not updated the blog in awhile. We have had a very rough couple of days. Our court hearing was supposed to be a formality, however it has taken a negative turn. There is a small issue, unrelated to us, that has stopped the judge from making a decision. Our first court hearing was Thursday and it lasted 3 1/2 hours. Today we were there for an hour and half. Now we're onto Monday at 11 AM.

We are not allowed to go into detail about the case. This small detail should be a non-detail, but it has now been blown out of proportion. We are beside ourselves right now, wondering if we will be coming back home without Nicholas. It is that serious right now. We would be able to return for a third trip, which is something we cannot really afford.

We don't know why we are the "lucky" ones that get to experience all of these strange trials, but we are and we need your prayers. If everyone could spend the weekend in prayer for us, we would really appreciate it. Not only is this an incredibly hard time for us, but we are all alone. We have no family and friends to comfort us right now.

The only good news is that we will still be visiting Nicholas. I only hope that we will not have to leave him again.

So, court will be 11 AM on Monday, which is 12:00 AM on Monday for those on EST. I know it is the beginning of the work week, but if you want to stay up a little later that night, we would love to be able to feel your prayers.

Thank you so much.

Kristin and Evan

Pictures from Nicholas

We had a really great visit with Nicholas this morning. He warmed up to us immediately. In fact, it seems like he is a bit of a mama’s boy right now. He hugs me so tightly. I love it! But, he an Evan had a lot of fun today too. In fact, I am going to allow you to see a glimpse of our son. As you know, we are not allowed to show pictures of him yet. However, there is no rule that says that we can’t show you pictures that HE has taken. He got a little infatuated with our camera today, so here are some of his masterpieces:





We have another visit with him this afternoon and we can’t wait! We were clapping whenever he stacked his stacking cups or threw a ball. Now he’ll clap after he does anything. It is very cute. He is also saying something. Our interpreter doesn’t know what he’s saying either, so it could just be baby talk. However, he says it a lot when he’s looking for the Cheerios. He still loves them.

Now we’re going to rest and eat some lunch before our next visit. We’re slowly adjusting to the time change, but we’re not there yet.

Kristin

Pre-Court is Over

Pre-Court went well today with one exception (I’ll get to that in a minute). At first it was a little nerve-wracking because we’re not use to being in a courtroom, especially one where the hearing is conducted in Russian. The judge went through any new documents that were submitted from us and the representatives from the baby home and the child welfare office. The judge asked us a couple of questions as well, which we had no problems answering.

Our court hearing is scheduled for Thursday, October 2nd at 2:30 PM (3:30 AM EST). The only problem is that we need a document from Ohio. So, thankfully, Evan’s parents are on the case. We feel bad for asking them, but there is nothing else we can do. We are so thankful that they are able to help us and we appreciate it more than they know.

We are spending the evening in our hotel room resting and watching American television on the computer. We didn’t get to see Nicholas today, but we get to see him in the morning. Unfortunately, our camera's batteries died yesterday, so we were only able to get two pictures. They had him dressed in a little dress shirt and a vest. We’ll get plenty of pictures tomorrow when we go, so we can post them for everyone to see (When we’re allowed to post them).

I thought I'd update you on what we are eating. We’ve been dining on our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches since we got here. However, we still have our Russian breakfasts. This morning I had a chicken cutlet with white rice, a piece of bread, ham, cheese, and half a pastry. Since we are eating PB&J, breakfast is our biggest meal. I will pretty much eat whatever they put in front of me – well almost. I can't wait to see what they offer us tomorrow.

Anyway, I will update you once we visit Nicholas again. In the meantime, please be praying for our upcoming court hearing. Please pray that both the judge and prosecutor will be kind and compassionate. You can also pray that they will waive the 10 days.

Kristin

Weary Travelers

Since we did not have internet access for the first few days, I decided to write a rather large blog documenting our trip so far. First, my cold did not get any better until Saturday night (Saturday afternoon to you). I was miserable for most of our flights, and my nose was bright red. I finally feel better!

With the exception of my cold, our flight to Moscow went okay. We were really excited because the movie choices were fairly good for this flight. Unfortunately, halfway into our second movie, the screens malfunctioned and never returned again. We were a little bummed, but it gave us a chance to do something we really didn’t do last time – Sleep! We each slept for about four hours. It was broken up a bit, but at least we slept some.

Once we got to Moscow we felt like old pros going through Passport Control and the Baggage Claim. We found our interpreter with no problems. We knew what was next on our agenda, but this trip had a little twist. On our first trip, we were taken to a hotel near the airport we would be flying out of and got to take a 4-5 hour nap. Then we took the shuttle to the airport and found our flight to Tomsk. This time our interpreter walked us into the airport around 12:30 PM, then left us to wait for our 11:30 PM flight. What do you do with an 11 hour layover?!?! There were very few places to sit at this airport, so we started out at Sbarro’s Pizza area for a couple hours. Then we checked in for our flight about 8 hours early and went and sat at a terminal gate where we did everything in our power to stay awake. One of us actually succumbed to sleep while the other did the head bob thing. Hint: My neck is hurting a little today.

Finally, we boarded our flight to Tomsk. The flight was okay. However, it was a little cramped. The person in front of me practically reclined her seat in my lap while the person behind me kept digging here knee into the back of my seat. With just a break for my kuritsa (chicken) dinner, I put on my IPOD and slept on and off for the four hour flight.

There really hasn’t been rest for us this trip. We had three hours to unpack and take a nap before we went to the medical center for our 8 Doctor Medical. They have rooms of different specialists that needed to sign off on our health in 8 different areas. We were only able to complete about 5 of them yesterday, so we went back in this morning for the others. Let me tell you, some of these exams were not my favorite. I felt really uncomfortable. I, personally, like to keep my shirt on. :)

But, the day did get better. We went to see Nicholas!!!! And, boy has he grown. He walked into the play room all by himself. His hair has grown more and he definitely is heavier. In the coming days we will put on some of the clothes we brought him so we can see what size he is in.

Our visit did NOT start out with him running in and calling out our names though. He was very hesitant to come near us at first. He actually went into the arms of Sergei and Nastya because he recognized them. But, after awhile he started to warm up to us. First, Nicholas and I started playing with the ball pit they have there. He soon started hugging me and wanting me to hold him. However, he was still hesitant about Evan, but slowly he began to play with him too. By the end of the visit, he would go to either one of us.

We are not sure if we will be able to see him today because we have Pre-Court in the afternoon. We found out that this is a new judge and we are his first adoption case. The Pre-Court hearing is basically to make sure the judge has everything he needs and to ask us a couple of questions. It is supposed to take less than an hour. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly.

We're so tired right now, so it's hard to think. Once we get adjusted to the time change, we'll have a lot more to say.

If anyone is reading this at 3:30 AM EST on Monday morning, we're in Pre-Court, please pray.

Kristin

Do you believe in miracles?

Fedex, on two different occasions, told us that our package would not get here. But, God had other plans. Here are our passports and visas:



I really am learning to trust God more through this process. It seems like no matter what obstacles are thrown in our way, they all seem to work out.

We are looking forward to leaving tomorrow. But, I do have one other prayer request. Please pray that I can shake this cold. There is nothing worse than having a head cold while flying. I've had this all week, so I am hoping that by tomorrow it takes a turn for the better.

Other than that, we are ready to go. We are going to be gone for a long time! But, we are hoping that we will be able to blog everyday once we get to Tomsk. So, this will be my last post until then.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They have definitely been felt.

Kristin

MAJOR PRAYER REQUEST!!!!

Call it women's intuition. Call me a worry wart. But, I knew that we cut it too close with our visas. We need prayer!!! I have been tracking our visas all day since we were told they would be to us by tomorrow (Thursday) at 10:30 AM. Well, according to Fedex, they are not coming until FRIDAY! The company that handles our visas sent them to the Russian Consulate in San Francisco. They then took it to a Fedex Kinkos and missed the deadline for tomorrow's delivery by minutes.

Evan and I have both pleaded with various Fedex representatives to allow us to pay extra to guarantee that they will get here tomorrow. Unfortunately, they told us that only the shipper can make those changes. Apparently, money doesn't buy everything. The Russian Consulate is closed and will not re-open until 11 AM EST. The visa company does not open until 10 AM EST. And, finally, Children's Hope does not open until 9:30 EST. Needless to say, we are feeling very helpless right now.

I am the type that has to fix the problem. It's hard for me to rest. It is hard for me to just trust God. This is going to take a real test of faith for us. Right now we are scheduled to leave at 9:40 AM on Friday. We can push our flight back to 11:15 at the latest. We are thinking about asking our local Fedex facility to hold our package and we'll pick it up as soon as they open Friday morning and then head straight to the airport.

So, please keep us in your prayers. I haven't been feeling too well the last couple of days and the last thing I need is more stress. I'm going to try and let God handle this one, but it won't be easy for me. Please pray that it will all work out so we can make our flight to Russia on Friday. And, please pray that I will not stress, but have rest.

I will update you and soon as we find out how this is going to be resolved.

Kristin

Almost Ready

How do you pack for 3-4 weeks without overpacking or underpacking? That is the challenge that Evan and I faced this past weekend. We are each taking one checked bag and one carry-on. Our bags are stuffed to the gills though. How can one little boy's things take up so much room? Yes, we are packing a couple extra articles of clothing for ourselves this time and some food (peanut butter, jelly, Balance bars, crackers, raisins, and tuna). But, little Nicholas has 7-10 outfits, toys, diapering and feeding items and a snowsuit!!! FYI: They like the child to be in a snowsuit from October-April there. But, we've managed to close and zipper both suitcases. This is the one area that we are pretty much ready to go.

Our visas look like they will arrive on time. We just got e-mail notifications yesterday that they processed our applications. They are still on track to come Thursday morning. Also, we have ordered our tickets. I can't believe we are leaving in three days. It still doesn't feel real. Tomorrow is my last day of work and I am taking a half day. So, today I will be making sure that all my work is done and that everyone knows what is going on.

I can't even explain my emotions right now. I'm excited, but hesitant to let my emotions really flow. The first four or five days of our trip are going to be the most nerve-wracking, scary, and uncertain. We are old pros at all our flights, but it is hard flying around 16 hours in less than 2 days. We have a medical exam when we first get to Tomsk. I heard that it is nothing to worry about, but that's my nature anyway. Then we have our pre-court and court hearings, which we have no idea what to expect. Some hearings have lasted 30 minutes and others have lasted hours. So, there is a little uncertainty. But, when all of that is over, we will really be able to bond with our son. And, that makes me smile.

Well, I'm almost off to my last FULL day of work. Now that makes me smile too! Stay tuned for the post about getting our visas. You'll definitely see some major excitement then.

Kristin

What A Week!

I want to start off by saying that we still do not have our official travel dates. However, we were able to order our visas yesterday and we will be getting our tickets later this morning. The only thing that seems concrete is that we are leaving Friday, the 26th. And, the fact that it is less than a week away is why I am up writing this at 3:30 in the morning and not sleeping.

I am trying to rest in the fact that everything will work out. It's just that everything is too close for MY comfort. We had to choose the fastest processing time for our visas, which is 3 business days. But, here's the problem: we entered our applications online after 4:00 yesterday and they will not have our passports until about noon today. They need both to count as the first business day. So, even though they will have everything today, they will not start processing our visas until Monday. So, that's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday for processing and one day for delivery. We're looking at Thursday morning delivery! That just makes me nervous. I don't care how many times everyone says to "relax", I don't like doing things last minute!!!

It seems like I am not allowing myself to fully enjoy the fact that we are going to see Nicholas because I'm so worried about our visas. On Monday when I first found out about our pre-court hearing, I was ecstatic. As the week progressed without any additional information, my excitement turned to fear. I'm sure it will all work out, but it still makes me nervous.

This weekend will be pretty busy. We have to buy some last minute things, do lots of laundry, clean the house, and attend a family reunion. I'm hoping that we will stay busy enough that I don't have time to worry.

On a brighter note, we did receive an updated picture and information on Nicholas. He is now walking! We are sad that we missed his first steps, but we're glad that he is progressing well. He is also a good eater. I hope that means he likes to eat a variety of foods. Maybe he can teach Evan and I something about being adventurous. :) The interpreter also said he's looking forward to us coming back. I had to chuckle at that statement. I'm pretty sure she just threw that in there, but it made me smile.

Well, I am going to try to get a couple more hours of sleep before we start our day. Please keep us (and our visas) in your prayers.

Kristin

Do you hear me shouting from the roof tops!?!

It all started with an e-mail. I met a woman on the Internet from our agency's Tomsk Yahoo Group. She and her husband are in Tomsk this week meeting their son for the first time. She offered to check up on Nicholas and possibly get some pictures of him. She ended up doing so much more. First, Nicholas is doing really well. That brings Evan and me a lot of comfort. Second, she was told that we have a court date!!! I started to freak out when I read her e-mail. You dream of this moment, but then it happens and you are never feel fully prepared.

Then I sat and debated: Wait for Leslie to call or call her? I chose to e-mail her with the "rumor" I had heard. It turns out, it was no rumor!!! So, here's the facts: In Tomsk we have a Pre-Court hearing, then a day or so later we have the actually Court hearing. Our Pre-Court hearing is on Monday, September 29th. Yes, 2 weeks from today! The bad news is that we won't have the official travel dates until tomorrow. So, we can't order our tickets or visas until then.

I'm basically useless at work since I found out the news. I just keep thinking of all the things I need to get done. Please pray that all the details work out.

I will keep you updated as soon as I find out more.

Kristin

One Step Closer

I don't have any earth-shattering news to report. I just have a few small items to share. First, because our judge tends to be a tad bit pickier than others, some of our documents were kicked back. Because of this, we have been forced to get our medicals and Evan's FBI fingerprints updated (mine don't expire until November - thank goodness!). We're getting really good at these updates, so they are not that big of a deal. It's just that we would rather not have to update anything.

So, Evan and I went to dinner last night to de-stress. While we were waiting for our food, Leslie called. We never expected a call from her that late, so we were pleasantly surprised. I did not get overly excited though since I was pretty sure it wasn't to give us a court date. Leslie updated us on what was going on with our paperwork. Our Home Study Addendum is now okay after the judge was given an explanation of the issue (if you see me in person, ask me about Staplegate '08). So, the only thing they need now is a letter verifying the employment of the head of the former Ohio branch office. No big deal. Leslie had it prepared and today it should go to get apostilled. She is going to scan and e-mail it to Tomsk, so they can translate it before the original gets there.

Leslie told us that Tomsk is now becoming one of the more difficult regions for paperwork. Aren't we lucky to be one of the guinea pigs of this newly re-opened region? But, she said that the judge may still assign us a court date once she (or he because now we're not sure it is a woman)receives the scanned document, since the real documents will be on their way. If this is the case, I think next week could be the week. We won't get our hopes up too high, but it is a possibility.

So, we're trying to be patient. It's hard because Nicholas just got another month older this week. But, I am pressing on because I know we're almost there.

Kristin

"Have you heard anything?"

My cell phone has been a permanent fixture on my desk at work. I know that during the hours of 9:30 AM and 5:30 PM EST, we could receive a call. A long time ago I informed all the people around me that I would answer my phone if it rang.

Well, last Thursday I got an e-mail saying that Sergei, our Tomsk rep, would be taking the rest of our documents to court. Then we would find out our court date shortly. We hoped we would hear Friday or Tuesday at the latest. Those days came and went with no news.

So, yesterday I began to get impatient. I e-mailed Leslie and asked her if there was any way that we could find out if Sergei really went to court on Friday. Also, I wanted to know what kind of time frame between that point in time and finding out our court date. Today we got that phone call.

Let's just say we have a small paperwork issue. There is nothing Evan or I can do. Our agency is straightening it out. All we can do is pray. We do know this much - our judge is a woman. So, please pray that she would be kind and compassionate. Pray that she would care about getting Nicholas home soon!

I do want to say that I appreciate everyone asking me, "Have you heard anything?". It shows you care. But, I am at the point where I feel stupid answering that question. I don't know anything. And, I hate saying, "soon" because we've been saying that for so long. I guess my best response would be:

When we get a court date - you'll know! There will be yelling, cheering, phone calls, e-mails, and a very celebratory blog!

Anyway, we're supposed to know more about the paperwork issue tomorrow. Hopefully, it will be resolved and our court date will be assigned. We're doing our best to remain positive until then.

Kristin

Deep Breaths

Well, enough speculation. Here's the reality: our home study addendum is finally complete after FOUR tries to get it right. They were simple mistakes, but I won't get into that right now . . . Leslie decided that we should send her the documents since we do not have a court date yet (so much for hand-carrying our documents). All we know is that they are scanning them and sending them to Russia so they can get a headstart on translating them. I don't know when we will get a court date. I want to hear something this week, but I have no idea if that will happen.

I have been listening to Focus on the Family on the radio the last couple of days. You can listen here. Steven Curtis Chapman has been on talking about how he and his family are handling the loss of his daughter who died in a driveway accident back in May. Listening to him talk about how they still have hope and joy amidst the grief and pain really helps me press on in our situation. The Chapmans experienced a horrible tragedy, yet they continue to walk in faith each day. It is because they serve the Great Comforter.

I know our time apart from Nicholas does not seem fair or even right. But, that is the system. He is coming home though. And, we know we will see him soon. However, we still grieve. We still shed tears. But, we know that God has entrusted us to parent a wonderful, little boy. We just need to continue to have faith and hope.

John 16:33 says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

No one ever said this life would be easy. I am just thankful that Evan and I are not in this alone. Nicholas is not alone. And, that is what we have to lean on right now. Just like the Chapmans, we also serve the Great Comforter.

Kristin

Speculation (A Dangerous Post)

I love to speculate. I have been speculating for almost four months about when we will go back to Russia. It can be a great coping method for me because it allows me to dream about seeing my little boy soon. It can also be a great way to get my hopes dashed.

This week I am doing some major speculating. I am reading into everything that our agency says. My hopes are super high. I just fear that I will be devastated if I am wrong.

First, we have a very interesting judge assigned to our case. He/She is requiring documents that our agency has never had requested. None of these documents have to be prepared by us though. Our agency and home study agency have to provide more information. We do have to go back to the Secretary of State - AGAIN - once we get the documents.

Then, Leslie at our agency wants us to hand-carry them to Russia. On our first trip we had to hand-carry documents because we were so close to leaving that there was no sense in sending them to St. Louis first. So, I began to speculate. If we have to hand-carry documents, it must mean we are leaving soon. Also, Evan also told me that he asked Leslie if we should be getting our court date soon. She said that she thinks she will hear something this week.

I just feel like once we get the call, we'll be going pretty quick. I'd love to leave right after Labor Day, and it actually could happen!

I do want to speculate on one more thing before I close. I think we definitely will need prayer about this one. Please pray for our judge. Based on the extra documents that he/she is requiring, this judge seems tough. Pray that our judge will be kind and compassionate and pro-adoption. We were hoping this judge would waive the 10 days, but I'm a little skeptical about that now. Being in a Russian courtroom will be intimidating enough without having a hard judge to boot, so please pray.

I will update as I find out more FACTS. But, for now, let's have fun speculating.

Kristin

Deadline Met . . . Sort of

What a crazy paper work week! Our home study agency prepared our documents and had them to our doorstep by Wednesday. They even took care of the certification, so we didn't have to travel to Dayton. Evan was out of town all week, so on Thursday my dad took them to the Secretary of State in Columbus (Thanks, Dad!). And, on Thursday afternoon they were on their way to St. Louis. They arrived early today. Sounds perfect, right? Well, not exactly...

Since we were in such a hurry I only had a chance to glance at the documents. But, as I sat at work yesterday, I remembered something. There were two things that the Home Study Addendum had to accomplish:

1. Show a current home study license
2. Show that we are approved for a child 24 months and younger (it use to say 18 months or younger).

Objective #1 was met. As I found out last night when I got home, Objective #2 was NOT. The age range needs to be increased since Nicholas is getting closer to the top of the range. The U.S. Embassy will not issue a visa for Nicholas to come to the United States if he is older than the age range in our home study.

So, what happens now? I don't really know. Our home study agency is closed on Fridays and Leslie is on vacation today. I'm going to assume that they will send it "as is" since it does not really hurt us from getting our court date. And, I guess we will fix it early next week.

Going with the flow is not easy for me. Is that what God is trying to teach me? I guess I had better learn now because being stressed out hasn't really worked for me either.

I do have a few things that I really need prayer. Of course, the documents and Nicholas' court date are on that list. But, also for our finances for our trip. Going to Russia for 2 1/2 weeks to a month is not cheap. We have raised and saved 85%of the money we need for travel expenses (hotel, in-country airfare, and food). However, we are looking at $500-1,000 still needed. I realize that is not a lot of money. God has really been good! We're just getting closer to leaving so I'm a tad bit nervous. Just pray that I would relax and let God provide.

In closing, we MAY know something in two weeks. You've heard me say that before, but it looks like this time it might actually be true. And, Monday we should have more information on our document drama. Until then, have a good weekend.

Kristin

Whirlwind

Today we got a phone call from our agency. No, it was not "the call". As I stated previously, we have been trying to get our home study addendum finished. The social worker did make it to our house last Wednesday. So, we have just been waiting on them to finish the paperwork.

After today's phone call they will need to get the completed paperwork to us ASAP!!! Tomsk wants all of our documents by August 25th. In order to make it there on time, we will have to have our documents to St. Louis by FRIDAY!!!

First, we need to have the documents in our possession. Second, they need to be certified at the county level. Did I mention that our home study agency is near Dayton?!? For those of you who do not know Ohio geography, that is over 3 hours from our house. In order to make our deadline, one of us will need to drive there to go to the Clerk of Courts for certification. Third, they have to be apostilled in Columbus (at least that is on the way back home from Dayton). Finally, the documents will be overnighted to St. Louis.

So, we need everything to happen without delays. Our home study agency knows about our tight deadline and assured me that we would have our documents by Wednesday. I really hate doing things last minute so this is driving me crazy. Please keep us in your prayers this week.

A lot of people have been wondering how we are holding up during this long wait. Well, Evan is inwardly upset and frustrated. I, on the other hand, have been more visible with my emotions. If I can keep myself busy, the wait is more bearable. If I sit and think about how many months have gone by, I can get pretty upset. There is an end in sight. We are so close.

I keep saying each week that "next week we'll know something" and in a way I'm right. Each week we learn that we're a little closer with a couple road bumps along the way. Once we are reunited with Nicholas, the frustrations we faced will be a thing of the past. So, we continue to press on.

Kristin

No Court Date Yet

It has been a very frustrating week so far and it is only Wednesday morning. First, we couldn't get in contact with our home study agency. Evan and I both tried calling several times, but only got voicemail. Then, I received a call at work yesterday morning from the social worker (I didn't even know she had my number). She will be at our house this evening! So, that is one problem solved. Hopefully, they will finish the addendum by Friday.

Onto our infamous court date . . . someone is dropping the ball and I'm not happy about it! We got a call from Leslie Monday night asking if we ever did a Power of Attorney for Sergei in Tomsk to handle our documents. I told her that I know we did. We have all of our documents done, except for the addendum. She looked through her paperwork and found that they did indeed send it to Russia in April. Now they are trying to talk to our interpreter in Tomsk to see if they lost this document or misplaced it. Here's my question: Why didn't they realize this any other time in the last three months?!? Did our documents just sit and collect dust?

We have been home over three months and it has not been easy to sit back and wait. I think I have done a pretty good job of being patient, considering the circumstances. But, my patience is growing thin. I am sure this situation will be resolved shortly, but at what cost? How much longer before we receive our court date?

So, I am hoping we hear from Leslie some time today. If not, I have a feeling she will be hearing from us.

I want to end with a few verses that God has laid on my heart this morning. They are James 1:2-4:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I know that it is hard in my frustration to be joyful. But, I will continue to persevere. I know that Nicholas is worth it. I know that God's ways are perfect. That is what sustains me when I want to pull my hair out and scream. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. I can see it faintly in the distance.

Kristin

Anytime Now

Sorry for being a bad blogger again. We had no news all week, so there wasn't much to say. I did e-mail Leslie in St. Louis Thursday evening to see if she had heard anything. As of Friday morning they had not. So, I am hoping our documents are with the court now like they are supposed to be. I'm getting really anxious and really frustrated. I thought we would be home by now.

We are also having an issue with our Home Study agency. We need to get our addendum done. This requires a visit from a social worker and we still do not have a date set. She mentioned about doing it Monday (as in tomorrow), but she never got back to us on whether it was for sure and what time. We have to do it this week!!! So, we'll see if she just shows up at our door tomorrow evening. We have the house all ready just in case.

Next on our agenda is to make a photo album for the court. They like to see pictures from our first trip. We are also adding some of Nicholas' room too. When we did the photos required for our dossier, Nicholas' room was still a spare bedroom. We want to show the court that he actually does have a place to sleep.

Well, I hope that you see a blog from me tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. It should be me announcing that the court has our documents! If they don't . . . well, I don't even want to think about it.

Kristin

Things Are Looking Up

A lot has happened since my last post. First, we received an awesome surprise in our mailbox yesterday. Here is an excerpt from it: "...we are pleased to inform you that you have received an adoption assistance grant in the amount of $3,000." We received a grant from Shaohannah's Hope! This is the organization that Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife started to aid families who want to adopt. If you remember from a few months earlier, his youngest daughter was killed in an accident in their driveway. They started a Maria Miracle Fund in her honor. The last I heard they had already received over $600,000 to help adopting families. We feel very blessed to be one of the recipients of this grant.

And, today we were excited to receive even more good news. We will have our court date scheduled in approximately 2-3 weeks. It looks like we will be heading to Russia next month or early September (this is just a guess). We are so happy that we have some kind of end in sight. It was starting to feel like we'd never get back to Russia.

So, now we are looking to make our lives super organized. We will not know how long we will be gone until the judge tells us. We are looking at 2 1/2-4 weeks! It's time to brush up on our Russian as well. I was too frustrated with the wait to even bother reviewing it.

As you can see, it should be a very exciting few weeks ahead. We may even be surprised with a court date earlier than expected. We can only hope and pray.

Kristin

It's All About Family

Sorry that I have not blogged in awhile. There hasn't been too much to say. You would be hearing me say the same thing over and over - "We should be hearing this week when we will go back to Russia."

Document-wise we are doing pretty good. Our medicals are updated and Evan will be getting them apostilled tomorrow. Evan also spoke to our new home study agency this morning. I think they plan on working on our addendum this week. That should be all of the paperwork that we have to worry about - for now.

Now onto the reason for my blog title. I had an interesting conversation with the cashier at Giant Eagle on Saturday morning. He seems to be the only cashier ever working there as early as I go. For the last few months, we have been purchasing various baby items. These items are usually purchased one item at a time, so they hadn't drawn any attention from the cashier - until Saturday. Since I had a $5.00 off coupon, I bought some diapers, wipes, and juice for Nicholas. The cashier must have realized that there is a baby in our life.

Cashier: "Where's the little guy?"

Me: Russia. (I love being coy)

Cashier: (With a surprised look) Are you Russian?

Me: No. That's where he lives, but he'll be home soon.

So, we got on the topic of adoption. I could tell he wasn't a fan, especially of us adopting from Russia. He asked me a lot of questions that I think stretched the bounds of our cashier-customer relationship.

This leads me to the answer I should have given the cashier when he asked why we're adopting - IT'S ALL ABOUT FAMILY. Nicholas needs a family and we have one to offer. In an ideal world, children wouldn't have to be given up for adoption and there wouldn't be any infertility either. However, that is not reality.

So, who cares if he is from Russia and not the United States? Each person, each family are lead down different paths. The bottom line is that there are children all over the world that have no families. And, there are families all over the world that have space in their hearts and lives for a child. It's all about family.

Sorry if I got on my soapbox, but I still have to deal with unwanted and judgmental looks and comments. A simple, "We're happy for you" or "Congratulations" would suffice.

Finally, I want to end by saying that sometime this week we SHOULD hear about when we are going to Russia. One of two things are supposed to happen: 1) We get an estimated timeframe of when our courtdate will be, or 2) We actually get a court date. So, please stay tuned . . .

Waiting Patiently (Or At Least Trying)

Since Memorial Day we have known about a small delay in us going back to Russia. We thought it would be resolved by now, but it hasn't. In fact, the source of the delay will probably not be resolved until next week. I am sorry that I cannot be specific. I guess you can consider it an unspoken prayer request. Anyway, the communication regarding this delay has been less than ideal. I'm not sure whether it is our agency or the people in Russia. All I know is that it makes me feel helpless. I know that God is ultimately in control of this situation, but I have never been a patient person.

So, I am not sure if we are going in August or September. If a miracle happens, we could still go this month. Evan and I are already looking into different options for his Fall Semester of school. He could drop a class. He could take it at a different campus that starts later in the semester. He has some options.

All I know is that there is a little boy in Russia that is so worth this whole process - headaches in all. While we may miss the first 18 months of his life, we will have many days and years ahead to share with him.

In the meantime, we will continue to work on our documents that need updated. We will continue to get the last few items we need for Nicholas. And of course, it gives us more time to save money, which is always a good thing.

We are also happy to report that as of today, Evan is back to work!!! The doctor gave him the "all clear", except for climbing up and down ladders. I think he's very happy. He defintely was getting stir-crazy.

In closing, we will wait and hear what next week brings. We may even know sooner!

Kristin