Kind of, Sort Of, A Semi-Christmas Present

It was last Monday afternoon. Nicholas was up in rest time playing and I was researching a few things on the computer when my phone rang. The caller idea said, “Private Name, Private Number”. Usually that means a telemarketer so I didn’t answer, even though I wondered if I should. As the answering machine came on I waited for the hang up, but instead came the voice of our social worker from our agency. She had a few questions for us.

I quickly called Evan to let him know and to tell him to try and be available for my phone call if this was really “The Call”. I listened to the answering machine message again and jotted down the phone number. Then, I made the call – and got her voicemail! AHHHH! So, I did the next best thing – I prayed. I prayed for her questions, for wisdom, and discernment. To be honest, I’ve been having a hard time the past couple of weeks. We thought we’d be matched and even placed with a baby by this Christmas. We love when people ask us about the adoption, but hate when we have no answer to give. It’s incredibly frustrating.

Nicholas continues to pray for his new sibling every day – more than once. My favorite is when he prays, “Jesus, we don’t know who this baby is or when the baby is coming, but you do.” How true! That is the peace we have had through this whole process. Yes, we grow impatient. Yes, we get frustrated. But, we have peace that we are not in control. We know who holds our times in His hands.

So, back to the story . . . it was over an hour before our social worker called me back. It turns out that we are one of two couples selected by birth parents that saw our profile around Thanksgiving. The birth mother needed some time to think about it before narrowing it down. So, now we wonder if we should get excited. We are excited about the possibility, but not letting ourselves dream too much.

We will be meeting the birthmother at the end of January (seems so far away). She will also be meeting the other couple. Then, she will make her decision. We don’t want to look at this as a competition. Yes, we want to be chosen. But, if we are not, then we know that this is not the baby God has for us. We are not matched yet, so we can still be chosen by other birth parents as well.

So, that is our big update. Will you pray for us and the birth mother during this time? Pray that we would be ready for whatever decision she makes. Pray for her and her pregnancy. Pray for our meeting together.

We will also continue with our fundraising. Now that we will be meeting with a birth mother, this is a little more real. I know Ordinary Hero is having another grant contest in mid-January. There is also our puzzle fundraiser and our tax-deductible account with Lifesong.

Thank you for following us on this long and unpredictable journey. It looks like 2012 could be a very exciting year!

Christmas Day Rewind

Nicholas loved all of his gifts this year. He is still at the age where we can pick out whatever we want and Nicholas is happy about it. We heard “No Way!” all morning, even when he opened up a puzzle and a book. He was even excited about his new ornament. Evan and I received ornaments from my parents on Christmas Eve. So, when Nicholas saw his, he said, “Now I have an ornament like you guys. Now we can be best friends!”

"No Way!"

Yes, I chose this book on purpose

I also received everything on my list. This year I asked for things that I needed, but probably wouldn’t bother buying for myself. I received new oven mitts, wooden spoons, and a glass measuring cup. I am actually very happy about these gifts. I don’t need Evan to spend a lot of money on me. There was nothing I wanted this year, so these gifts were perfect.

Evan also got a lot of necessities too. He did receive a DVD from Nicholas. It is a movie they both like to watch together. We have it on our DVR, but now they can watch it without commercials. I am so impressed that Nicholas never spoiled it for Evan because we bought it almost a month ago!

Some of the aftermath

We had a good time with Evan’s family yesterday. There was plenty of food and plenty of presents. Unfortunately, we didn’t take very many pictures. During present time, there was too much going on to get a good shot.

Evan did get a nice shot of the tree

We put away most of the Christmas decorations today. With all the new things Nicholas received, I just felt like we needed to remove something from the room. I think we’re leaving up the Christmas tree for a couple more days though.

We’re just enjoying our last days of Evan’s Christmas vacation. This is the last week before his new shift starts, so he only works tomorrow before he has two more days off. :)
That's all I have for now.  Stay tuned for a special post in the next day or so . . .

Merry Christmas Eve

We had a nice, but strange Christmas Eve. It was strange because we are usually with my mom’s family. Nice because were able to go to church and also spend the evening with my parents, grandma, and sister.

Nicholas did pretty well sitting through the entire Christmas Eve service. On Sundays, children his age are in the service for the first 25 minutes, but tonight he had to make it through about 50 minutes. He was most excited about holding his own candle during “Silent Night”. He kept whispering to me, “Can I blow it out yet?” I also watched his face light up when he recognized the Bible verse that our pastor was referencing.

Ready for church

After church, the guys went and got the Chinese food while the ladies got everything else ready at the house. Nicholas and Evan are big fans of sweet and sour chicken (aka Chinese chicken nuggets) and white rice. They both think they are Chinese food lovers, but that is the extent of what they will eat. I’m happy for a little more variety. We also had make-your-own ice cream sandwiches for dessert.

Nicholas was excited about many of his presents. He received walkie-talkies from my sister. He had fun trying to communicate with everyone from the other room. I think there was some operator error on his part though, but it didn’t spoil his fun too much. He also liked the electronic dog from my grandma. Nicholas was almost as wound up as the dog was.

When the dog barked and sang he jumped on the table

Evan was excited about his present too!

Cars 2

He also received many other nice presents, but the one that got his attention the most was the drum set. A very nice woman at my dad’s work (Thank you, Kathy!) bought him a drum set and had it shipped to my parents’ house. Nicholas seemed like a natural, even yelling out “1-2-3-4” before he started playing. With his new drum set and his violin skills, we’ll probably see him on the church worship team before we know it.

I always wanted a drum set too.

Evan and I are relaxing to “A Christmas Story” now. I have seen the entire movie, but never start-to-finish. I wonder if I ever will. We’re looking forward to exchanging gifts in the morning and spending time with Evan’s family.

We’re thankful that Jesus came as a baby to be our Savior. We’re also thankful that this is Nicholas’ first Christmas with Jesus in his heart. I hope you have a Merry Christmas! And, I pray that we would all receive the best gift – Jesus!

Almost

• Last night it almost took an hour to bake this new quiche recipe that should have taken only 30 minutes. I think the inevitable is happening and our oven is starting to die. It is the house’s original model, so I shouldn’t be surprised. Even if it was a fluke, I still think it is time to invest in a new one. We want to move in the next year or two, so this will help the marketability of our house.

 

• Evan almost had to be on-call for Christmas this year. Last week his company was taking volunteers for the three major holidays (including Christmas Eve) coming up. If they did not receive enough volunteers, then they would choose someone. Evan had this feeling that they would choose him for Christmas – and they did. He got a phone call from his boss today telling him the news. He was just about to call and tell me when his boss called him back. Since Evan has off the 24th and the 26th, they can’t make him work the 25th! Thank goodness for vacation days! So, we dodged that one this year. I can’t imagine what it would be like to celebrate Christmas wondering if Evan would have to leave at any time because of an “emergency”.

 

• Nicholas almost jumped off the diving board today at swimming by himself. He did have the lifeguard drop him in once, but after that he was on his own. He would climb up the stairs so fast and get to almost the end of the board, then freeze. We would all yell and encourage him and then he would start to take those steps back. At one point, it felt like he was just standing there forever. While he didn’t jump this time, I have a feeling he’ll find his courage in the next few weeks. I did ask him on the way home why he didn’t jump. I expected him to say that he was afraid. Instead, he replied, “Because you guys kept yelling.” I told him that we were trying to encourage him. He told me, “You should have just been quiet.” So from now on, I guess everyone in the pool area should remain silent. We’ll reserve our clapping for when he actually jumps.

 

Last lesson of the year

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking about jumping in

 

 



He did it!

Just dropping in

He stood at this point for a long time.  We'll try again next year!

• Finally, I almost put a really cool blog post up yesterday, but I will wait a few days to do so. It’s really interesting, so stay tuned. 

Who Is That Masked Man?

We celebrated Christmas with my mom’s side of the family early this year. It actually worked out better as almost everyone was able to be there and stay the whole time. Now we will be able to go to church on Christmas Eve. That is something we always want to do, but haven’t been able to attend each year. We’re also having Chinese food that day which makes me really happy.

Nicholas received many nice gifts last night. No one went overboard.  He and I went through his toys this morning and were able to weed out a bunch that he doesn’t play with anymore. It is such a good feeling – at least for me.


One gift he received last night was a couple of crafts from my cousin, Jessica. He was able to make his own mask. He loved it and I’m pretty sure he wore it most of the night. I had to draw the line when he asked if he could sleep in it though.

One of the fun crafts from Jessica

Super Nicholas

I also received a lot of nice gifts in my women’s exchange. All the women in their 20s and 30s (me being the only one on that end for NOW) exchange gifts. Many of our gifts were edible this year, which is always fine by me.

Well, I am keeping this short.  I have to get back to my favorite super hero!

His new and improved mask from today

More from "real" Christmas later this week.

What’s Cooking In the Kitchen and In Our World

Nicholas has taken an interest in helping me in the kitchen a lot more lately. He told me that he is the boss of making food now. It all started when I let him make dinner the other night. When I planned my menu, I added this meal because I knew Nicholas would like helping me. I didn’t know that other than me putting it in and taking it out of the oven, that he would make it completely by himself.

Nicholas made mini pizzas. He started in the traditional way with sauce first and then the cheese, but changed it up after a while, adding extra sauce on top. He had so much fun and it gave me a chance to finish my Christmas cards.

No shirt for easy clean up

Best mini pizza he ever had

We also made blueberry muffins together. This was a healthier version using almond meal. I don’t know how I would rate these, but they tasted pretty good right out of the oven. Nicholas enjoyed them too. I would probably make them again.

Ready for the oven

Good right out of the oven

Finally, we attempted to make fudge together. I would say it is an epic fail while Nicholas thinks that the fudge is delicious. I’m waiting for Evan’s opinion for the final vote. We had fun making it. I am just a little embarrassed that one of the recipes was even called “No Fail” and I still don’t think it is right.

Breaking up the chocolate bars

Union break

Spreading out the fudge

Better than the finished product

I’m just not a baker. I would rather cook something. Maybe because the measurements don’t have to be so exact like they do in baking. Here are the two recipes that we used though:

http://eatcakefordinner.blogspot.com/2010/12/phat-cow-fudge.html


http://amysfinerthings.com/no-fail-peanut-butter-cocoa-fudge-recipe


Trying to incorporate new recipes into my family isn’t easy. I have two picky eaters that are picky in different ways. I was successful at making our own Chip*tle burritos. Everyone seemed to enjoy them and they could make them with chicken or with beans. I’m hoping to try and find some more successes. Thankfully, Evan is coming to my rescue for our Christmas party tomorrow. We are supposed to bring a dessert and he is the better baker, so he’ll be making brownies when we get home from church.

Finally, Nicholas had a great violin lesson today.  In fact, he earned himself a trip to the movies, but we didn't get to go.  I had another problem I needed to worry about - the fact that in my 18 years of driving I have not mastered maneuverability.  My side view mirror fought the side of garage and lost.  I wasn't paying attention until the loud thud stopped me in my tracks.  Then I was so flustered I couldn't straighten up and thought I'd never get out of the garage.  I'm sure it was quite a sight.  Nicholas kept asking me why I hit the mirror off. 

So, after his violin lesson we spent some time taping it back on.  Hopefully, we'll be able to replace it later this week.  I'm thankful that we have our emergency fund or this would put a damper on Christmas.  I'd like to say that this is the first time this has happened, but Evan reminded me that I did this years ago too.  It also runs in my family, so I'm going to claim genetics on this one.

Anyway, Nicholas and I baked instead and had a great afternoon.  Evan has a lot of time off coming up, so not only will we see that movie I promised Nicholas, but Evan can take care of the mirror.  :)

Take the First Step

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9


Fear is something I have struggled with my entire life. I still struggle with a lot of fear even as we speak. Some of it is so irrational that it would make you laugh. Fear is something I am fearful (ha ha) about passing on to my children.

I’ve noticed that Nicholas is a very cautious child. There are very few things that he will do right away without thinking about it first. He needs to check it out first. Swimming lessons has been great for him to learn to trust his teacher and to grow in an area that was once scary for him.

The last couple of months the swimming teacher has been asking the kids if they want to jump off the diving board. They have all been very adamant about not doing it. But, something changed this week and Nicholas decided it was something he wanted to try. One little girl decided (or her mother did) that she would do it too.

The first day, the teacher suited them up in life jackets. I watched with much apprehension as my little boy climbed the ladder and slowly inched his way to the center of the diving board. Then, fear got the best of him. I thought of a solution to encourage him because I knew he’d like it if he tried it. Last year, Nicholas had a teenage boy that was a helper in his class while I was in my Wednesday morning Bible study. We were surprised to see him just a couple of weeks ago starting as a lifeguard at the pool. I asked Nicholas if he would do it if Jared helped him. He agreed.

Nicholas still did not want to jump on his own, but he let Jared drop him in the pool – not once, but twice. I was so proud of him for just getting up the diving board. On Thursday, he tried again, but without the life jacket. This time another lifeguard helped him. Evan and I were both there to encourage him. The fact that my almost five year old did something that scared him encouraged me too. I would have never done that at his age.

How many times do I stop myself from even climbing the ladder because of fear? I tell Nicholas that he can ask God for strength when he is afraid, but I find that hard to do when I am in the midst of a fearful situation. But, watching Nicholas climb the ladder, made me realize that we are capable of so much more than we allow ourselves. We don’t have to do it alone either. God can provide someone to help us along the way, just as the lifeguards helped Nicholas.

First time on the diving board

A little help from a friend

Life jacket-free

There he goes . . .

One more time!

I have no doubt that one day Nicholas won’t need anyone to drop him in. He’ll be jumping in without abandon. But for now, we’re proud of him for taking the first step to overcome his fear.

And the Angels Rejoiced

Yesterday was a very monumental day in our house. It was a day that I was praying would happen, but I was waiting until the time was right – until he was led. Some children make the decision too early – before they understand. Some children don’t even know there is a decision to make.

But, yesterday, Nicholas prayed and asked Jesus into his heart. He has been learning for years that Jesus died for him, but I think he truly has begun to understand it in the last few months. We were just having a conversation like we do every morning before school. I was asking him about Sunday school the day before and some of his answers were deeper than I expected. So, I gave him a visual aid (with pencils and a pen) about what it really meant to accept Jesus as his Savior.

First, I had a pencil that represented him (or people in general). Then, I put a big space between him and the pen, which represented God. I told him that everyone sins and those sins separate us from God. We can try and reach him on our own, but we’ll fail. So, God sent Jesus – his own son – to die for our sins because he was the only perfect one that never sinned. I represented Jesus with two pencils in the shape of a cross. I told him that if he believed that Jesus loves him enough to die on the cross and forgive his sins that he could ask Him into his heart to be his Lord and Savior. Then, he wouldn’t be separated from God anymore and would be with him in heaven someday.

I explained it a couple of times and then had Nicholas explain it back to me. He really did understand. Then, I told him that one day, when he was ready, he could pray that prayer. He wanted to pray it that morning, so we prayed together.

When young children accept Christ, I feel that is important to keep teaching them the foundations. It is important to show them practical and real ways that Christ lives and moves in our lives. I think it is easy for “Christian” kids to just do good things and forget about who Christ really is. So, I want to train my son to not only have accepted Christ, but to truly live for Him and to do His will.

I am so thankful that Nicholas knows that Christ is his Savior. He has been twice adopted – first into our family and now into God’s family. The angels are rejoicing and I’ve never been more proud.

Parenting 101 – You’re Not as Great as You Think You Are

If there is one thing Evan and I pride ourselves on is that we are consistent and don’t give in very easily. Nicholas has a routine and knows what to expect. We think that having a bed time – even an early one is very important. Kids need their rest and we know what can happen when kids are overtired. And, we like to spend some time kid-free at night.

We also don’t believe in traipsing our kid all over kingdom come just to make somebody else happy . If we have too much going on, we believe that a rest time or some down time is beneficial to all members of our family.

We expect Nicholas to obey. I always tell him that obedience is “first time – all the way – with a good attitude”. I think that kids can listen the first time. When you have to count to three you are just giving them a couple chances to disobey before they feel like doing what you’ve asked.

I expect Nicholas to have good manners. I want to hear “please”, “thank you”, and “excuse me”. Hiding behind me when someone is trying to talk to him is not cute or shy, but plain rude. He knows this fact. Does he always do any of this perfectly? No, but we’re training him.

As a member of this family, I expect Nicholas to make his bed, clean up his toys, and do anything else I ask. He likes helping right now, so I’m not going to kill that desire.

I don’t like running and screaming at church. When other kids do it, it gives Nicholas a moral dilemma and it makes it hard for me to parent.

With all that said, Evan and I fail as parents every single day. Sometimes the guilt gets to me and sometimes I am ready to get back up and try again. I have to ask Nicholas for forgiveness sometimes and that isn’t easy to do.

Recently, we took a parenting class in church. It was based on the book "Have a New Kid By Friday". As we sat there listening to other parents’ problems, Evan and I felt more confident in our own parenting abilities. No, we weren’t “Parents of the Year”, but our problems were minimal. In fact, what we really learned about were some areas we need to tweak. We really both struggle with tone of voice. We need to learn to balance sternness and grace. We both continue to mess up in that area, but we are aware of it and are trying.

Well, a couple of weeks into the class, our fairly well-behaved son lost his ever-loving mind. Areas that we had trained him in were falling apart. He was giving us some problems at night, but mostly at rest time. He didn’t want rest time anymore and he was letting us know that loud and clear. I saw many areas of his behavior that I see we needed to address. We had three days of serious disobedience. Thankfully, God gave me an extra dose of patience and I was able to deal with it in the right way without joining him in his fits of anger. Evan and I actually had a good chuckle one day about it because it was so out of character and out of hand.

While I have missed hearing, “Get me out of rest time NOW, Mommy” we finally have turned somewhat of a corner. We’re noticing better choices and if he starts to head down that path, it doesn’t take as long to turn it around. Nicholas will tell you that “whining gets you nothing”. He will also let you know that if he continually chooses bad behavior that he’ll be doing a lot of sitting and not having any fun.

It has just been a humbling time in our lives as parents. While we may being doing a lot of “right” things, our son is still a sinner and has a strong will. Our training is not finished yet and there is no time to get proud and lofty. Your kids will kick you right off that pedestal – maybe sometimes literally. I think the best thing we can do as parents is to be consistent, but also pray for our children and their hearts.

As I now see that Nicholas is struggling with a lot of anger and a spirit of rebellion, I’ve been praying that God will really be working in those areas. I also talk to Nicholas about it when he is in a more content mood. I’ve also prayed with him.

See, I don’t just want an obedient child. I want Nicholas to understand how we are all sinners. We all screw up, but when we start down that path, we need to stop and go to God for strength and forgiveness. This time of teaching and training has really reinforced that in my own life. I sin and sometimes I don’t make good decisions. How many times do I forget to go to God with my struggles? How many times do I forget to ask for forgiveness?

So, that’s a great lesson that I’ve learned in the last couple of weeks. I’m hoping that through my failures – and successes that I can encourage other parents in one of the hardest jobs they’ll ever have.

Nothing Like A Holiday Spider

I haven’t been happy with my blog lately. I don’t mind updating about what Nicholas is doing, but there is so much more that I want to write.  So, I am going to attempt to write more about other topics. I’ll continue to have updates about Nicholas and throw in a cute picture of Nicholas here and there. Since it is “Our Family Blessings” and not “Nicholas’ Blessings” I feel that it needs to be expanded. I want to talk about some things I am learning. I want to talk a little bit more about parenting in general – not just what Nicholas did this week in school. I am trying some new recipes, so I thought it may be fun to add some of those or at least mention my kitchen successes or kitchen failures.


I’m just not a big fan of fluff and I feel that’s all my readers have been given lately. I don’t know when I’ll start my new format. Hopefully, this week, but things have to change or I’m not going to want to update very much.

But, for those that really like the updates on what Nicholas is doing, you’re in luck because we had a very full day yesterday. In the morning we went to Evan’s mom’s work for their Christmas breakfast. We’ve gone the last couple of years and Nicholas enjoys it. There is breakfast, a toy for each child, face painting, crafts, pictures with Santa and a show. You don’t see too many companies doing these kinds of things anymore, so it is a neat opportunity.

Nicholas finally decided that he wanted his face painted this year. The first year he wanted nothing and last year he only wanted his hand. This time he asked for Spiderm@n. Well, she gave him a spider. I asked to have a Santa hat to put on to at least make it a holiday spider. If you look closely today, you can still see the spider very faintly on his cheek.

Very serious about his "Holiday Spider"

The show this year was a wild bird show. While it was interesting (maybe not as much as the exotic animal show the year before), the highlight was when the kids could come up and have a bird sit on their shoulder. Even Nicholas’ one year old cousin tried it too.

Overall, I think it was a fun time for him.

He asked for a balloon guitar

Everyone's balloon animals

After a couple hours of rest, we headed to some friends’ house from church. They happened to ask us a few weeks ago what we were doing on the 3rd. Usually, we would have to say that Evan was working, so we weren’t free. Thankfully, he had already asked off for the Christmas breakfast, so it worked out! We had a great time! It was so wonderful to be with like-minded people. We just think alike and parent alike. And, Nicholas gets along so well with their two sons. It is always nice when we don’t have to worry about breaking up fights or kids being mean to each other. We could just enjoy our time.

Tonight is our last parenting class at church. I would love to talk more about what we’ve learned and how humbled we were recently. Maybe that will be one of my first deeper blogs. We have enjoyed the class though and Nicholas likes spending extra time with some of his friends from church.

In closing, I’m going to try and write more substance pieces, but I will sprinkle in Nicholas updates. I hope you’ll stick around.