Perspective

Evan and I were having a talk the other day that kind of put something in perspective.  Sometimes we give too little weight to Nicholas’ adoption.  Sometimes we think that just because he was young that he didn't come with as much “baggage”.  Then, I realized something.  Our niece will be 2 years and 4 months this month.  That is the age Nicholas was when he flew across the ocean and started life in a new country, house, family, etc. 

Our niece is young, but she has already had experiences that have begun to shape who she is as a person.  She knows her family.  She can speak and understand words.  Yet, if she were removed from her family at this age, she probably would not remember them after a while.  Those first two years would be gone from her memory.  However, those experiences would still have an impact on her life.

Nicholas lived in a baby home with several other children.  He was cared for by a limited number of women.  He understood and spoke Russian.  Then, we come in after visiting him every day for a month and bring him to a whole new life.  How traumatic!  Now, we had read all the books and had the classes, but I think in some areas we were in denial.  He did adjust well in so many areas that it was easy to dismiss some of his struggles.

I wish I could have a “do-over” for some things, but I am thankful for God’s grace.  I am thankful that Nicholas is well-adjusted.  I’m thankful that he loves his family so well.  I’m thankful that his sleep issues have been resolved.  He’s come so far.  But, other times I look at how much he says that he will miss me when I leave the house (even if only for an hour or two).  Or how much he tells me he loves me.  None of this is bad obviously, but I can tell he needs more reassurance than some because of those first two years that shaped who he is today. 

Daniel will probably be a lot different in the “baggage” area.  He’s been with us from day one and we know every experience he has had.  He’s always known a family.  He may have other issues come up when he’s older (heck, we all have issues), but for the most part, the early years should be pretty typical.

Nicholas has been home for over three and a half years now.  He’s a typical boy in so many ways, but this new perspective shows me that I need to have more grace in some areas.  If he needs our reassurance that we love him and won’t leave him, then that’s what we’ll do.  

2 years and four months

Today!