This vs. That

I can’t begin to tell you how different I am feeling about this adoption compared with Nicholas’. I have been working on the birthmother profile. I had planned to have it done by the end of December, but finding good pictures has been hard. I have a few more pictures to scan and I’ll be done with the picture portion. Evan needs to write a couple of things, so when he has a free moment . . .

We still haven’t received our child abuse registry results. They said they are backed up 3-4 months. We are at the 3-month mark now. It’s frustrating that something so small is holding our home study up. I keep praying that it will come.

So many people have asked me what I know about this adoption. The honest answer is not much. We are not specifying a gender. So, Nicholas may have a baby brother (his current choice) or a baby sister. We are actually okay with either. We don’t know when any of this will happen. Our home study needs to be approved and we need to finish our birthmother profile, so I don’t think we’ll be chosen by a birthmother this month or even the next.

I am praying that this adoption remains drama-free, or at least less stressful than Nicholas'. We’ll deal with whatever comes our way, but I’m kind of ready for smooth and easy.

It seems like a lot of people desire to have their children spaced close together. This is what I always wanted to do as well. For one thing, your child has a playmate. You hope they will be the best of friends. Well, Nicholas will be turning four in less than two months. The other day I admitted to my mom that I am kind of happy that he will be four or five years older than his sibling. He can do so much for himself. He’s going to be a great helper. I won’t have two in diapers. He’s becoming great at playing independently.

The age difference doesn’t mean that they won’t be good friends either. There will be years where they will sense the age gap, but as they get older, that gap will close. My sister and I are five years apart and we’ve seen that gap close completely over the last decade.

Our first adoption was hard and difficult, but it changed my heart in so many ways. It gave me a passion for adoption that I don’t think will ever go away. When I was at Nicholas’ baby home, I saw all those children that needed families and it broke my heart. There are children all over the world that need families. This domestic adoption is different because there is no orphanage involved. There are one or two parents making the most difficult decision of their lives and we are there to see that unfold.

I think birthparents that choose adoption are incredibly courageous and strong. My heart breaks for them as well because this adoption isn’t all about us. I pray for our future birthparents. I pray for their comfort and healing. This adoption will probably be life-changing as well even though it is so different.

So, some of the emotions are the same with this adoption than it was with our first one. Many emotions are very different. The one thing that definitely remains the same is that our child is covered in prayers and definitely loved and wanted already.