Puzzling

Sitting in Nicholas’ bedroom are our two suitcases for our trip. Since we have returned from our second trip, I have rearranged Nicholas’ clothes several times, swapping out sizes and adding more winter gear. Now it looks like I’ll be swapping everything with spring clothes.

Our case is going to the Supreme Court, but this one is located in Moscow. The court scheduled our court case two weeks ago, but we could not attend. The court then re-scheduled the court date for TWO days later! Since we could not make that in time, they shelved our case. According to the law, if the party does not appear for two scheduled dates then the case can be shelved. So, this week Sergei filed an appeal with the Supreme Court arguing that it was not humanly possible for us to make it to Russia with two days notice. I have no idea what this entails or how long it will take. I just know that we do not have to appear in court for it. I am guessing that if the Supreme Court rules in our favor then it will be re-opened in Tomsk. That should give Uzbekistan plenty of time to send Tomsk the paperwork. I am hoping to get more information on the process, but we all know how that goes . . .

Anyway, on Monday I went to Target and ended up buying a puzzle. I enjoy working on puzzles, but do not do it often enough. I have the time and it is a great way for me to de-stress. I also enjoy the challenge and feel a sense of accomplishment when I finally complete the puzzle.

This morning a wonderful analogy popped into my head that really shows what this adoption is like for us – one big puzzle. Like a puzzle just out of the box, we can’t always see what is going on. Nothing makes sense. But slowly the pieces start to come together and we begin to see the bigger picture.

There are times where it seems like we are stalled or stumped; there are gaping holes in the puzzle. All the pieces are there, but we aren’t sure how they fit. But, when that last piece is put in, we’ll finally see how everything works together to form a picture.

Right now I see some major holes in my adoption “puzzle”. It seems like none of the pieces are fitting right now. At times, Satan tries to steal my joy just like Gabby when she tries to steal one of my puzzle pieces. It is hard to be patient. It is hard not to get frustrated.

I can’t wait to see the big picture though. I can’t wait until Nicholas is home! But for now, I have to trust that these “pieces” will fit together. I guess I am starting to see that God felt I could handle the 1000 pieces puzzle rather than the child’s puzzle I’d prefer right now.

Okay, enough of the puzzle analogy. I was having way too much fun with it. It just encourages me to know that while I can’t see or understand why all of this is happening, it isn’t all for nothing. Just know that when I look at the person I am now compared to who I was 18 months ago, I like THIS Kristin so much better. This trial has not left me without hope. If anything, it has increased my endurance for future trials.

I am hoping that in the coming weeks we will be able to have more information and possibly an idea about our return trip. But for now, back to the puzzle!

Kristin