So Frustrated

I am having one of those days where I am just feeling down and overwhelmed. We talked with Leslie this afternoon and we have a lot of paperwork to update. Certain documents expire after a year, but others after three or six months. So, we have several documents that expire in February. However, Leslie suggests we also start updating our documents that expire in April and May. That last request scares me. Is it just a precaution or will we be visiting Tomsk in the spring? There is just no way of knowing. It all depends on the paperwork from Uzbekistan.

In addition to the standard paperwork, I also need to get the State of Ohio to write a letter stating my unemployment benefits. I’m going to start with the local office and go from there. I am also not looking forward to returning to the Brunswick police station for fingerprints. You may remember my previous encounter with them last May. Needless to say, I'd rather be elsewhere.

Today has been one of those days where I just want to throw up the white flag. But, my love for Nicholas trumps any of the frustrations we are going through. I am fighting for him. I don’t know when we are going back. I don’t know if the prosecutor will give us a hard time. I just know that everyone is doing their best to get this adoption finalized. I also know that God is in control. Without Him, we have no hope.

One thing that has brought me great comfort is memorizing Bible verses. Beth Moore, a well-known Bible teacher, writer and speaker offered up a challenge on her blog. She challenged her readers to memorize two verses a month for 2009. Sunday I will start memorizing my third verse. The last verse that I memorized is perfect for our situation.

Philippians 4:6,7 (New Living Translation): “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

As I have stated before, worry is a stronghold in my life. But, this adoption has helped me to be more trusting. I have to pray more! I have to trust that God is in control! If I didn’t, I would go crazy. I have bad days. I have days where my heart aches (like today), but I am not supposed to worry.

In closing, I have a few specific prayer requests:

1. Pray that the documents come from Uzbekistan.

2. Pray that there will be no hassles as I try to get my notarized unemployment letter from the State of Ohio.

3. Pray that Olga will be satisfied and not come up with any more problems.

4. Pray for Nicholas. Pray that God will prepare him to leave the only life he has ever known to come home with us.

5. Pray that when feelings of doubt and fear appear that we will instantly go to prayer rather than dwell on them.

6. Finally, you can pray for the region of Tomsk. Due to the problems at court, our agency is pulling out of that region. There are other agencies that work out of Tomsk, but I am not sure whether they will stay or pull out as well. My heart aches for all the kids that may not get adopted now.

Kristin